“Then why’d you do that?”
Sitting on the edge of the bed, he looked at his lap as he ran his palm down his face. “It’s who I am.”
“You don’t treat anyone else—”
“They aren’t you. They don’t torment me. Don’t tempt me.”
I crossed my arms. “I’ve never tried to.”
That wasn’t necessarily true. At the club, I’d definitely pushed him, single-minded in my need for a reaction.
I’d gotten one, all right, and my ass and I regretted it.
He didn’t call me out on my half-truth. “You didn’t have to try.”
I needed to leave. Needed space. I wasn’t willing to peek under the overwhelming hatred that dominated my jumbled emotions. Hatred was safe.
Hatred was smart.
Hatred wasnormal.
But Damien—he’d spanked my ass, he was no longer just a professor to me—seemed to be feeling talkative, and even my anger couldn’t drag me away from the chance to get the answers I’d been desperate for. “If you feel that way, why’re you always so mean?”
“Because I don’t trust myself.”
I didn’t believe a single word of his stupid—and incredibly clichéd—excuse.
Well, the forthcoming answers were good for the three-point-seven seconds they lasted.
“Right,” I drawled.
“Eden, what I want to do… what I get off picturing doing...” He shook his head. “This was a drop in the fucking bucket, and you’re already looking at me like,” he gestured to me and my closed off, defensive body language, “this. I couldn’t stand it if you looked at me worse.” I could hear the pain in his voice, the self-deprecating acceptance. “And you would.”
“Oh,” I whispered. It was a valid point since I was sure I didn’t look too pleased.
“Come here, angel.” He reached his hand out for me.
I wasn’t sure why, but my feet carried me to him before my brain could decide what to do.
Pulling me down onto his lap, Damien carefully positioned my tender ass between his spread thighs. “Are you okay?”
My body was tense. I was frozen, but not between fight and flight. It was flight and contentment that warred within me. Because, as badly as I wanted to deny it, a seductive sense of comfort had wrapped itself around me, confusing and wrong. That feeling alone was enough to show I needed to leave.
I nodded. “Can I go now?”
“No.” Damien lifted me so I stood in front of him.
When his hands went to the button on my jeans, I stepped away.
“It isn’t what you think. Trust me, okay?”
“No,” I said in the same simple way he usually did, offering no explanation and expecting no argument.
“Trust me,” he said again, his voice low and fierce.
It was no wonder my life was a tangled knot because I made stupid decisions. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and took a hesitant step forward. Not even a full one. It was more like a half-shuffle.
But it was enough to make his eyes flare with something good. Something wild.