Page 100 of The Bad Mother's Diary

I said that Ted was fine. An old family friend.

Alex said something about misplaced loyalty. Then he said, ‘Doesn’t your daughter deserve the best?’

We looked at Daisy. Sleeping on my chest.

I said that Ted would do his best for us. Better than some super-solicitor we hardly knew. He’d go to the ends of the earth. He’d known me since I was a baby.

Then Alex said I should take Nick for every penny. He’d seen Nick, pre-wedding, in the city – bar-hopping and flirting with women. He said it was disgusting with a baby at home. And he wished he’d told me.

I told him I already knew Nick bar-hopped and flirted with women. I just didn’t know he was sleeping with my bridesmaid.

Then I thought about Nick and Sadie and felt like I was going to be sick.

I must have gone a bit white, because Alex said, ‘Are you cold? We can get the fire lit. Let me take Daisy.’

But I just mumbled something about feeling ill and having a lot on my mind. I honestly thought I was going to throw up. I thanked Alex for a lovely afternoon and ran out like Cinderella at midnight.

He must think I’m such an idiot.

All I could think, wandering around London, was that Nick never loved me. All those years with him and he never even knew my favourite colour.

And yet Alex has noticed every single Dalton ball I’ve ever attended.

Sunday September 27th

Took Laura out for lunch to apologise for standing her up yesterday.

Planned to take her to Jamie’s Italian, but Daisy started howling and WOULD NOT stop. So we ended up at Kentucky Fried Chicken where they have bottle warmers.

As soon as Daisy calmed down, I started blubbing. Going on about how Nick never loved me and I missed what was right in front of my face.

Laura got me a bargain bucket to drown my sorrows.

I gave Daisy a drumstick. Then I panicked, because it was full of salt.

Laura reminded me that Mum gave us KFC when we were babies. And McDonald’s too – there’s a baby picture of me in a Ronald McDonald highchair dipping fries into a strawberry milkshake.

I told Laura about the afternoon tea with Alex. How nice it was, but what a twat I made of myself. Then I asked her how it was going with Zach.

She admitted she hadn’t heard from him in a while. He’s on a skiing trip. But there was some Hello picture of him at a ski lodge party with some girl.

‘It’s probably nothing,’ she said. ‘But, then again …’

We bought a copy of Hello so we could scrutinise the picture.

I had to admit the girl was pretty. But not in Laura’s league.

‘Zach doesn’t care about pretty,’ Laura insisted. ‘He’s not like that.’

After we’d looked at all the arm angles and googled ‘body language’, we decided the picture was perfectly innocent.

‘Just a friend at a party,’ I said.

‘Yes,’ said Laura. ‘But … I still wish I’d never seen that picture.’

Monday September 28th

Mum and Dad went to IKEA today to buy a wardrobe.

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