Page 102 of The Bad Mother's Diary

Mum has broken her wrist on the trampoline.

Doctor Slaughter came round on an emergency visit. He looked in the fridge and told Mum off for having a salad drawer full of fun-size chocolate. Then he told her she’d have to go to A&E and wait in line.

Mum said she and Dad pay five times more taxes than most people AND have private healthcare, so she shouldn’t have to wait.

Dr Slaughter said private health insurance didn’t cover stupidity.

Tuesday October 6th

I will never understand Daisy’s eating habits.

The only thing she’ll eat off a spoon is bananas, porridge and angel delight (that last one is Mum’s fault).

And yet she roams around the house eating leaves, stones, old dried-up hard food and bits of carpet fluff. She even tries to grab her nappy and eat it while I’m changing her.

How did human beings ever evolve from caves?

Wednesday October 7th

9am

I’ve lost four more pounds! WOOOOOOO!

I’m going to celebrate with an Options Hot Chocolate drink, exotic mint flavour.

10am

Exotic mint flavour tastes like muddy toothpaste. Even Daisy didn’t like it. She made a face and spat it down her little ballerina outfit.

4pm

Just got back from ‘Little Tiddles Play Time’ at the village hall.

Daisy tried to eat the big crinkly blanket all the babies were supposed to lay on.

Then, while I was changing her, she grabbed the nappy and hurled it across the room.

I used two packs of wet wipes to clean up, saying ‘sorry, sorry’ the whole time.

The woman who ran the group said, ‘It’s fine.’ But I could tell she was annoyed. She was muttering about the big crinkly blanket being dry clean only.

Thursday October 8th

Ran all the way around the village three times today.

AndthenI ran along the trail into the woods, past the river and all the birds and boats.

I kept thinking about Alex – wondering if I’d bump into him.

But I didn’t see him today.

I bet he’ll make a really good time in the marathon.

Me – I just want to finish. But the more I run, the more I’m thinking … maybe I will finish. Maybe I will.

It’s definitely getting harder as the weather gets colder, though. The air is really starting to hurt my chest.

Friday October 9th

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