Page 114 of The Bad Mother's Diary

Friday November 6th

Morning

How can time be going so slowly? When will eight o’clock be here?

Afternoon

Too nervous to eat.

I just can’t stop thinking about Alex.

This is madness.

Daisy slept soundly last night. Yet I was wide awake – crazy infatuated like a teenager.

Oh this is ridiculous. I’m a mum now. A single mum. I don’t have silly romances. None of this makes sense.

It was just kissing. Just stupid, drunken kissing.

Oh my God!

What am I going to say to Alex? Are we going to pretend like it didn’t happen?

Will he want to forget all about it?

Or … or …

6pm

Crazy storm outside.

It’s like the world knows something is happening. And all this energy is just flying around the sky.

7pm

Alex just rang the pub.

He said, ‘Juliette?’

And I sort of squeaked ‘Yes.’

I knew it was him, but I said, ‘Um … who is it?’

He laughed and said, ‘You know who it is.’ Then he said, ‘We can’t run tonight. It’s treacherous out there. But can I see you?’

God – I couldn’t speak then. It was like my whole throat had closed up.

See me? Why? To tell me last night was a stupid mistake?

I managed to say okay, and he said he was coming straight over to pick me up.

Am now shitting myself, waiting for his car to pull up.

11pm

Alex arrived ten minutes after he phoned.

I met him at the front door – he was standing under a huge black umbrella, looking all serious and brooding.

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