Page 120 of The Bad Mother's Diary

Went back to the pub and sobbed to Mum about what a terrible mother I was. A bad role model for Daisy. Not in control of my eating habits.

Mum told me to get a hold of myself. She said she was ordering the Domino’s Christmas special – a giant pizza with roast chicken, beef and cranberry sauce – and did I want one.

I gulped, ‘Mighty Meaty please.’

Ate pizza.

Felt much better.

It’s amazing how much happier you feel when you’re not hungry.

And truth be told, I have lost a lot of weight recently.

Saturday November 21st

Bad night with Daisy.

Very, very tired this morning.

Daisy woke up happy and smiling, like last night had never happened.

I said, ‘I don’t know what you’re smiling at.’

Then she said, ‘Mama.’

Her first word!

I cried.

My little girl!

I’ve never felt so proud.?

Sunday November 22nd

Decided to write today off as a failed diet. ‘Damage limitation’ or something like that.

It was all rainy and miserable and I ended up eating half a packet of cream crackers with big slices of cheddar cheese.

Still, I did manage to go out for a run. The first since Alex stopped coming.

I ran for HOURS! Amazing. I’ll have to remember to eat cream crackers and cheese before the marathon.

Monday November 23rd

Did some shopping in the village this morning.

The church ladies were all on ladders, trying to fix the rude Christmas decorations. They’d managed to make the boobs look like a big Christmas bow, and they’d turned the penis into a fairly convincing Christmas tree.

Bumped into Clarissa while I was coming out of the chemist.

I had a box of suppositories in my hand called ‘Anusoids’. Why do they give them names like that? Why can’t they call them private tablets or secret medicine?

Clarissa gave me that ‘Oh, you’re really not coping are you?’ smile of hers.

She said, ‘Has Nick been in touch? I hear he and Sadie are making a go of things. Living together …’

Bad news travels fast in this village.

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