Page 121 of The Bad Mother's Diary

‘I’ve barely seen him,’ I said. ‘Nor has Daisy.’

She gave me lots of pitying nods, then told me how lucky she is to have her husband. He brings her glasses of water while she’s breastfeeding and ready meals from Marks and Spencer’s when she’s tired.

Then she asked if I’d seen Alex lately.

I said no.

She said, ‘I heard you two go running together. Was that just a rumour?’

I said we had gone running. But I hadn’t heard from Alex in weeks. And then stupidly, I added, ‘I miss him actually.’

Clarissa raised her eyebrow and said, ‘Look. Friend to friend, I saw Alex a few days ago. At the Yacht Club. Talking to Rebecca Castle. You know – Penny Castle’s daughter? So you never know. Maybe they’ll be a match there.’

Ugh.

I mean yes, yes I know that Alex and I were never going to happen in the real world. But felt like I’d been punched in the stomach.

After Clarissa left, I caught sight of myself in the chemist window and realised I had toothpaste in my hair.

Secretly, I quite like embracing the ‘I’m so sleep-deprived I can’t be bothered’ look. But toothpaste is a step too far, even for me.

Mums like Clarissa, with full make-up, styled hair and conservative yet fashionable clothes first thing in the morning ruin it for all the rest of us.

Tuesday November 24th

Hoped it would be rainy today so I could take Daisy to the soft play area. That way, I could sit around drinking tea while she chewed soft toys.

But it was sunny so I had to take her out.

It was alright actually. Went to the play park. Cold, but sun shining. Felt better than I have in ages.

I think bumping into Clarissa sorted me out a bit. Have finally turned the page, re: Alex. Feel better. Lighter. And ready to move on.?

Wednesday November 25th

The village supermarket still isn’t stocking Christmas trees, so Mum demanded that Dad go into the woods and cut down a real one.

Dad was happy to do it, saying it was ‘a very frugal move’ and ‘an excellent way to mind the pennies’.

He went into the woods with his handsaw this morning, and didn’t come back until after dark.

When we saw the tree, we understood why it had taken so long – the trunk was like a telegraph pole.

All the branches were covered in cobwebs and dead leaves, but Dad said it only needed ‘a little wash and brush up’.

The tree wouldn’t fit in the family room without the top bending against the ceiling, so we’ve put the Christmas fairy back in her box.

Had a nice time hanging the Christmas decorations.

While we weren’t looking, Callum ate one of the playdough decorations he made at nursery last year – sequins and all.

Then he drank three glasses of water and went to brush glitter out of his teeth.

Thursday November 26th

American Thanksgiving

Did Skype link-up with Uncle Ralph and Aunty Yasmin.

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