Page 124 of The Bad Mother's Diary

While we were arguing over my eyebrows, there was a knock at the door.

In my panicky state I thought it was Alex – calling four hours too early.

I screamed, ‘Hide me! He can’t see these eyebrows!’ And tried to climb into the airing cupboard.

But then Mum shouted up that it was a delivery man. With a great big pink box.

For a moment, I thought it might be a present from Nick. A big sorry gift. Begging for me to forgive him and take him back.

He never remembers my birthday, though.

Brandi read the card and was like, ‘NO! You will NEVER guess who this is from. You will never guess!’

It was from Alex.

He hadn’t put any kisses in the card or anything. It just said, ‘This is for tonight. Alex.’

No ‘love’ or anything like that.

My stomach did a load of lovely somersaults.

I think I must have been giggling or squealing or something, because Mum said, ‘Calm down, Cleopatra. And let’s find out what it is.’

It was a beautiful dress in pink silk.

Stunning. Just stunning. Sort of vintage 1940s, with a big skirt and tight waist.

And there were matching shoes – grey ballet pumps made from swirled silk.

Mum went on about how ‘me’ it was because I love ‘all that vintage crap’, and how Alex must have been paying attention.

Brandi googled the dress label and confirmed it was from a very expensive designer.

Then Mum got out her shoebox of diamante and talked about adding abitmore sparkle. But I wouldn’t let her.

The dress was absolutely perfect. So perfect I was sort of scared to try it on. I mean, what if it didn’t fit?

Men are usually terrible at knowing women’s dress sizes.

But it did fit. Perfectly.

And I realised – fucking hell, I really am looking better after all this running. I’ve lost weight and my legs are much more svelte. A better shape. And everything is just more … held in.

I didn’t want to take the dress off, but Daisy woke up and I was worried it would get covered in dribble. So I laid it carefully back in the box ready for tonight.

I’ll be honest, I am totally shitting myself.

I’m just so nervous. It was never like this with Nick.

Oooooo! Need a wee again!

Saturday November 28th

The most amazing night.

Well. Right up until the last bit.

Alex picked me up at eight o’clock on the dot.

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