Page 128 of The Bad Mother's Diary

Alex wrote, ‘I think you need time. And space.’

I wrote that I’d had plenty of time and space. And that I really needed his help with running. That I ran so much better when he was with me. And that the marathon was REALLY soon.

Alex wrote back, ‘I’ll pick you up at eight.’

I felt that happy glow in my chest again.

Alex showed up at eight on the dot, just like always.

While I was doing my calf stretches in the pub garden, I tried to explain that Nick had come roundtotallyuninvited last night.

I said, ‘About Nick coming over last night –’

But Alex cut me off with his hand and said, ‘That’s none of my business.’

Very unluckily, Brandi picked that moment to come clattering down in skeleton leggings and Ugg boots, bleached blonde hair in a big messy bun.

She said, ‘Jules didn’tdoanything with Nick. You can sleep in a bed with someone without anything happening.’

Thanks, Sis.

Alex’s face went really stern.

I think Brandi knew she’d said the wrong thing, because she added, ‘I’ve slept in LOADS of guys’ beds and not done anything. Sometimes you just need somewhere to crash.’

And Alex’s jaw started twitching. He looked at me – a mixture of anger and disappointment. I felt about a foot tall.

Brandi gave me a hapless shrug as if to say, ‘Well there’s no pleasing some people.’ Then she tottered off to her pink Kia and gave us a little friendly toot as she left.

Alex said, ‘I think you’ve done enough stretching.’ All cold and formal.

The village was glowing with Christmas; decorations and holly everywhere, plus the amended lights flashing away.

On the waterfront, people were drinking cups of mulled wine and calling out ‘Merry Christmas!’ as we ran past. But the atmosphere between Alex and I was totally not festive.

We ran for miles, Alex always a little bit ahead.

Sometimes he’d turn around and bark, ‘Keep up.’

Towards the end, he pulled right away from me.

He’s never done that before.

I shouted at him to slow down, and he told me that I needed to work on my self-discipline. That I needed to push myself through the pain barrier.

I said, ‘Can I try that tomorrow?’

He said, ‘No.’

I said, ‘Whyare you pushing me? Is it because Nick –’

And he said, ‘I’ve heard enough of that man’s name today.’

And then we ran on in silence.

When we got back to the pub, I said, ‘Are we running tomorrow?’

He said, ‘I’ve trained you as much as I can. The rest is up to you.’

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