Page 129 of The Bad Mother's Diary

Then he left.

Tuesday December 1st

Still no word from Alex.

To take my mind off things, I helped Althea make her Christmas presents.

Althea doesn’t believe in ‘buying plastic crap’.

This year, she’s gotten into welding. I arrived to find her in the garden, showing Wolfgang how to use the welding gun.

Wolfgang was clapping his hands with delight at the orange sparks. He did have a welding mask on, but it was a little big for him – covering not only his face but most of his torso.

Althea had already made a load of wrought-iron Christmas wreathes, and had moved on to welding Christmas tree decorations.

I pointed out that wrought iron is too heavy to hang on Christmas trees, but Althea explained they were ‘concept pieces’ – to show the weighty financial burden Christmas puts on the common man.

Althea is a good business woman, because she’s already sold three of the wreathes to her neighbours. I just hope they have some really strong nails.

Wednesday December 2nd

Nick keeps calling me.

But now I want Alex to call.

I’ve been Facebook stalking Alex, but there’s really nothing to see. He never puts up pictures or status updates or anything.

Althea is pleased as anything that Nick wants me back. She thinks it’s a good opportunity to torture him.

‘Karma,’ she said. ‘I told you it would come around.’

I said, ‘Doesn’t karma mean that Ishouldn’ttorture him, because the universe will do it for me?’

She said, ‘No, sometimes you have to step in.’

Then Althea told me she’d heard a rumour about Sadie.

Apparently, she’s getting fat now.

So I suppose karma really does exist.

Friday December 4th

Mum went to B&Q and bought a load of new Christmas lights today.

She bought waving Santa, jumping Santa, Santa’s sleigh, three flashing Christmas gift boxes, Rudolph reindeer and eight free-standing reindeer – all made of tube lights.

The front of the pub is already covered in neon Christmas lights, so she’s set the new ones up in the back garden.

Now a rumour has gone around the village that there’s going to be a Santa’s grotto at our pub. We keep getting little kids knocking on the door with letters for Father Christmas.

Saturday 5thDecember

Took Daisy to see Santa at Harrods.

It was Althea’s treat – she’d booked it for us months ago.

Althea is totally anti-establishment, but she loves anything creative, which includes seasonal stuff.

---