Page 136 of The Bad Mother's Diary

Alex started bossing people around – asking for paramedics and a stretcher.

Then he said, ‘Look, I’ll leave you with your family. The ambulance is on its way. If you need anything, call me.’

Then he gave me his business card and sprinted off into the crowd.

It was all a bit chaotic after that.

The paramedics came over and (irritatingly) told me it was ‘nothing serious’ and they’d ‘seen much worse’.

I said, ‘But it really hurts!’

They said it would be fine with a bit of ice on it.

Mum said, ‘Will a cold bottle of Coke do the job?’

They said yes, and offered to drive us home in the ambulance. Dad said they shouldn’t ‘waste resources’. So we ended up borrowing a wheelchair and going home on the train.

Quite nice being disabled. Everyone smiled at me and let me go first.

Sunday December 13th

My ankle is MASSIVE. It’s nearly as big as Mum’s.

Doctor Slaughter says it’ll be fine in a few days. Then he checked the fridge and shouted at Mum for having a shelf full of Frosty the Snowman chocolate rolls.

I miss Alex. Seeing him yesterday … he’s got into my head again.

Thought maybe I should message him and explain about Nick. But Brandi said no – explaining only makes you look guilty.

She said, ‘I should know. I’ve cheated onloadsof my boyfriends.’

I said, ‘But I didn’t do anything with Nick. Nothing happened.’

Brandi said, ‘Wow. You’rereallygood. I totally believed you just then.’

Monday December 14th

I’m getting quite used to sitting around, especially since Mum has filled the house with mince pies.

She always buys a packet from every supermarket to ‘consumer test’, so there were 36 mince pies in the cupboard, plus various novelty Christmas items:

Turkey and cranberry flavour Pringles

Star-shaped cream crackers

White Mars Bars

Mince-pie ice cream

Alex still hasn’t messaged or anything. And I think Brandi’s right – trying to explain will just make me look bad. I mean, I’ve tried already. He doesn’t want to listen. Maybe this is just his way of letting me down gently.

Is it too early to send a happy Christmas text message?

I have his number now …

Tuesday December 15th

Trying very hard not to think about Alex.

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