Page 138 of The Bad Mother's Diary

Have just spent all morning giggling.

Althea insisted we go to Sloane Square and hit all the designer stores.

London is still all magical and twinkling.

The Sloane Square trees were hung with huge, beautiful snowflake lights, and a 50ft Christmas fir towered over us tiny shoppers.

Railings were strung with pretty little lights, and the shop windows shone with Christmassy displays.

Whenever a sales assistant asked if we needed help, Althea said, ‘What costs the most in here?’

I really haven’t bought any clothes since I was pregnant with Daisy, so it was all a bit strange.

In Chloe, the sales assistant was a gushing, mumsy type who kept saying ‘lovely’.

‘Can I help you lovely ladies?’ ‘Have you seen the lovely things back here?’ ‘I think this would look lovely on you.’

Althea grabbed a load of clothes for me to try on, and the assistant said, ‘Oh you’ve made a lovely choice!’

I tried them on. And the assistant was right – they were a lovely choice.

I really am looking pretty thin, too. I mean, I don’t think my stomach will ever go back to how it was. But I’m looking fit and healthy.

When we got to the cash register, I freaked out.

I told Althea I couldn’t pay with Nick’s card.

Althea said. ‘If you can’t do it, give me the bloody credit card and I will.’

The sales assistant said, ‘Is everything okay?’

Althea explained that my ex-fiancé cheated on me with my bridesmaid. And that we would be using his credit card.

The sales assistant narrowed her eyes, snatched the card and said, ‘Paying by card? Lovely!’

I ended up buying a whole new wardrobe. And we also bought Daisy a pink cashmere twinset, baby pearls made of rubber, and tights with little pretend high heels onto the feet.

Then Althea forced me into a swanky hairdresser’s, and I got a beautiful new haircut. More layers cut that made my curls really bouncy, and some really lovely, subtle blonde highlights.

After that, we went to Fortnum and Mason for a Christmas afternoon tea – three silver tiers of turkey and cranberry sandwiches, star shortbread biscuits and filo pastry mince pies.

I told Althea that Nick would be furious when he got the credit card bill.

Althea said, ‘Yes. He will.’

Then we started giggling and couldn’t stop – until Daisy tried to blind herself with a silver fork.

Friday December 18th

Morning

Christmas songs on the radio.

It’s the most wonderful TIME of the YEAR!

Even when shitty things are happening, you’ve got to love Christmas.

Nick rang this morning and asked to meet me in London tomorrow.

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