Page 16 of The Bad Mother's Diary

Iknewmy body couldn’t have needed all those double-chocolate crème frappuccinos.

Friday January 30th

Nick home, so back in London today.

It’s nice to be able to buy a fresh croissant 24 hours a day. It’s not nice seeing Helen.

Nick had good news – he’s won a role in a potato wedges commercial. He plays a dancing potato wedge. A spicy one.

Sadie called round just as I was putting Daisy to bed with ‘something urgent’ to tell me. My so-called best friend has an amazing habit of dropping round at the wrong time.

Sadie and I have been friends for years. Since school. We’ve gone travelling together and all sorts. And I’m loyal – once I make a friend, I keep them. Even if they’re alittlebit of a nightmare.

Sadie has a big, beautiful face like the moon. And one of those figures that looks amazing in everything (she was wearing leather trousers and a bright red soldier jacket when she called).

She’s an actor like Nick. Which means she loves being the centre of attention. And that’s probably why Nick and Sadie absolutely hate each other.

Sadie calls Nick ‘lizard boy’ because his Star Trek Enterprise character was (without his knowledge) CGI’d into a lizard.

Nick calls Sadie ‘pancake face’.

The urgent thing turned out to be the London Marathon. But not the usual spring-time London Marathon. The Christmas one. In winter.

Sadie showed me the flyer, which said the marathon would be: ‘Brutally awesome’.

It turns out Sadie has signed us up for it. And no – she wasn’t joking.

Apparently, she’s been offered ‘an amazing opportunity’ to sing ‘We Are the World’ at the marathon finish line. But only if she actually runs the marathon.

I said, ‘Sadie! I haven’t even run aregularmarathon. This is clearly for mad people who want to punish their bodies. It’s in WINTER for Christ’s sake! There’s no way I can do it.’

‘This could be my break as a singer!’ she insisted.

Sadie cansortof sing. As long as it’s an easy song. But she sounds a bit like a goat and can’t get any of the high notes.

Sadie called me selfish and unsupportive.

Which is a bit rich coming from her. When I had morning sickness, she refused to see me, saying it was ‘all too gross’.

I said, ‘I’ve just had a baby. There’s no way I can run twenty-six miles. Especially not in winter.’

Sadie said, ‘It’s twenty-seven miles. And you had a babyagesago.’

Then she said she’d already signed me up, adding, ‘You might finally lose some of that baby weight.’

I have to admit that swayed me a bit. Maybe I can become one of those makeover stories you read about. Where a dumpy woman takes up running and transforms herself into a super-toned athlete.

After a lot of theatrics on Sadie’s part (anguish, disappointment, false bravery ‘no it’s fine, I’ll go on without you’), I eventually relented.

It’s easy signing up for a marathon whilst lounging on a warm sofa.

Sadie said Nick should come home early some nights. So we could train.

I said, ‘But he’s just got a new role. He needs to work.’

She said, ‘Nick’s actually got a job? Since when?’

I said, ‘Hedoeswork you know.’

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