Page 20 of The Bad Mother's Diary

Helen asked where from.

I said, ‘Forever 21.’

Helen squeezed her eyes tight shut and said, ‘Heaven help us.’

Friday February 6th

Wedding cake shopping at Marks and Spencer’s today.

Nick wanted an extravagant, show-offy cake from some Chelsea bakery, but it’s stupid to waste money on wedding stuff when we need a house.

We had a fun time in the end. Finally agreed on the cake, and Nick danced me around the food hall singing, ‘We’re Getting Married in the Morning’.

I do love him sometimes.

Saturday February 7th

Decided to try the PureLife milkshake diet.

Had one for breakfast and lunch, but by teatime I was absolutely starving. So I cooked spaghetti bolognaise and ended up eating Nick’s portion because he was late home.

Then I took Daisy to the 24-hour supermarket and bought a melt-in-the-middle fondant chocolate pudding and a bag of toffee popcorn.

Will carry on the diet tomorrow. Maybe strawberry milkshakes will taste better.

Sunday February 8th

Tried the PureLife strawberry milkshakes. They taste like chalk mixed with women’s deodorant.

Nick came home with another huge toy for Daisy today – a swinging chair with disco lights.

He was all excited, saying it would teach her to be a musical genius.

‘If I’d have grown up with toys like this,’ he said, ‘I’d get way more parts.’

It turns out he got rejected for a musical today for not being able to dance. Which I think is unfair, because Nick is a pretty good dancer. He’s the only person I know who knows all the moves to the Macarena.

He sighed and said, ‘Another rejection. But you love me no matter what, right?’

I told him of course I did. And that Daisy loved him too.

We’re a family. Together for richer or poorer. For better or worse.

Monday February 9th

Funny how life changes. I used to love pubs, vintage clothes hunting, bingo nights and music festivals.

Now one of my greatest joys is squeezing Daisy in just the right way so she does a massive burp.

All the bills went out today and I watched our bank account sink a little lower.

Everyone always jokes about Nick being ten years older. But I sort the bills and all that adult stuff.

It’s not that I don’t trust Nick exactly. But I’ll never forget the day the electricity got cut off. I was blow-drying my hair for a regional manager’s meeting, and had to leave the house with my hair half straight, half curly.

Nick’s job means he isn’t always in work. So we’re basically living off my savings and maternity pay a lot of the time. And when we’re really desperate, Nick borrows money from his mum.

When I met Nick, he had an agent in LA and we were invited to all sorts of premieres. But times are hard right now. We’ll get through it.

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