Page 27 of The Bad Mother's Diary

Off he went, all tall and athletic, jogging into the woods.

I explained to Laura that Alex had helped me out of a puddle.

She said, ‘That was nice of him. Did he mention Zach?’

I teased her all the way home about fancying Zach.

Nick’s been calling and texting all day. Promising he’ll never drink again. Begging to see pictures of Daisy.

It’s a start I suppose.

Wednesday February 25th

Decided to give Nick another chance.

Got the train home this morning, and Nick met me at the station – just like the old days.

We had a long heart-to-heart, and he told me how down he felt.

He said, ‘But it’s no excuse for my behaviour. I’ll try to do better. I WILL do better.’

The thing is, Nick’s very good at saying the right things.

I told him if he was ever drunk in charge of Daisy again, I would leave him.

He looked pretty scared, so I think he knew I was serious.

When we got home, poor Daisy just wouldn’t stop crying. I cuddled her for HOURS and ended up temporarily losing hearing in one ear.

Nick worked himself into a panic, worrying that Daisy was really ill. He phoned the emergency doctor and shouted down the phone for them to ‘hurry the fuck up!’

By the time the doctor arrived, Daisy was absolutely fine. Grabbing our fingers and laughing.

I could tell the emergency doctor was annoyed about the pointless call out. He mentioned something about missingBreaking Bad.

Thursday February 26th

Told Althea about me and Nick’s big row.

She suggested I go to baby meditation with her and ‘chill out’.

Somehow, Wolfgang broke the Buddhist prayer bowl.

I’ve never seen a Buddhist monk get angry before.

On the way home, the bus driver wouldn’t let us on because there was already a wheelchair in the pushchair space.

The wheelchair lady looked pretty smug.

Then it started raining, and I realised I’d left Daisy’s rain cover on the balcony to dry. So we had to get a taxi, which cost fifty pounds.

What happens to your brain when you have a baby? Simple things, like reading bottle warmer instructions, finding a complete pair of shoes or remembering a rain cover are completely impossible.

Friday February 27th

Helen needed our flat for her ‘Dynamic London Women in Business’ group, so Nick and I went out for a meal in Soho.

Helen couldn’t look after Daisy while her business colleagues were round, so we had to get a babysitter.

---