Page 29 of The Bad Mother's Diary

It turns out Laura has beenseeingZach Dalton.

He uses her university library sometimes, so they’ve been bumping into each other.

Sadie said, ‘Don’t get your hopes up Laura. You’re hardly in his league.’

Bloody negative Sadie.

I told her Laura is nice and kind and well mannered. And that she could be in anyone’s league.

Sadie muttered something about ‘the rest of the family’. Meaning Mum and Brandi I suppose. And maybe me. She’ssucha snob.

Then Laura got all nervous and said, ‘You will be there, won’t you Jules?’

So of course I said yes.

Laura never asks for anything. I know this must be really important to her. Correction, Zach must be really important to her.

She said, ‘You’re the best little sister in the world.’

I said, ‘And you’re the best big one.’

Sadie said, ‘Ugh! Sentimental family stuff is sonauseating. I’m glad I’m an only child. They say we’re more selfish. But I just think we’re honest about not wanting to share.’

Monday March 2nd

Took Daisy to baby group today.

She did a Mega Poo while we were singing head, shoulders, knees and toes.

It was so massive that it went right through her stripy tights and ra-ra skirt.

I put on her spare outfit, but then she did a second Mega Poo and ruined that too.

Luckily the other mums leant me stuff. Women are so nice.

When I got home, Helen was at the granite breakfast bar on her laptop, ready to go over wedding table arrangements.

She’d downloaded a wedding seating plan app, and kept saying, ‘Isn’t technology marvellous?’

Of course, then she looked all the way down her nose at Daisy and said, ‘The socks – one orange, one pink?Really?’

I told her odd socks were the fashion these days, and she needed to get with the times.

I didn’t admit I’d borrowed clothes. She’d only have lectured me about ‘proper preparation of the baby bag’.

Tuesday March 3rd

Daisy is officially old enough to have food, which means that she MUST sleep better from now on. Right?

The books all say start with baby rice, but it just looks so gluey and boring.

I phoned Althea for advice, and she said babies can’t digest grains until they’re at least a year. And that I should give Daisy a soft-boiled egg yolk.

Apparently she did it with Wolfgang.

So. Here goes.

12pm

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