Page 35 of The Bad Mother's Diary

I told her it was none of her business.

She said certain people in the village were talking. Saying how inappropriate it was. That Laura and Zach could be together.

I asked why.

Helen said, ‘Considering Laura’s background.’

I said Laura’s background was the same as mine – she grew up in a nice, big house in the country and wanted for nothing.

Admittedly half of that big house is a pub … but a very nice pub. It’s in all the Best Ale and Good Pub guides.

Helen said, almost whispered actually, ‘But your younger sister had that teenage pregnancy …’

And then it all came out – Catrina Dalton called Helen yesterday. I had no idea they knew each other, but apparently they run a handbag charity together.

Basically, Helen wants me to tell Laura to stop dating Zachary.

I told Helen that Laura was happy seeing Zach. And that I’d never get in the way of that, nor should anyone else.

Helen said, ‘That’s what you want for your sister, is it? To be gossiped about?’

I told her people always gossip about our family. With a mum like ours, we’re used to it.

Helen said, ‘Well you should warn her at least. Catrina Dalton isnothappy. What relationship can work if a mother isn’t happy?’

I pointed out that Helen hadn’t liked me much at first.

She said, ‘Um … yes. But then there was the mishap’ (she meant Daisy). ‘So …’

Usually, I find Helen’s rude comments funny. But there are times when she crosses the line.

I got very cross and said, ‘Don’t EVER call my baby a mishap.’

Nick shouted out from the bedroom, ‘She’s right, Mum. That’s out of line.’

Helen looked a bit chastised. Then she said, ‘What I mean is, I appreciate there are certain things one must accept.’

I said, ‘So maybe Catrina Dalton will learn to accept Laura.’

Helen’s lips did that horrible puckering thing they do when she gets really angry.

She barked that Catrina had made her feelings ‘VERY clear’. Then she left, muttering that she’d practically planned the wedding for me and got no thanks.

When she’d gone, Nick crawled out from the bedroom and asked if there was any Coca-Cola in the fridge.

It’s always funny when he tries to be serious with his hair all sticking up and duckling fluffy.

I told him about the ball and how Catrina Dalton had been whispering to Alex about us ‘Duffy girls’.

I didn’t tell him about Alex offering to train me.

Nick said, ‘The Daltons are complete wankers.’ Then he said, ‘Daisy’s asleep, you know.’

I asked if he’d checked her breathing.

He rolled his eyes and said, ‘Yes.’ Then he said, ‘Get over here.’

He kissed me – just like he used to do.

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