Page 41 of The Bad Mother's Diary

I think she was hoping to see Alex, because she said, ‘Oh – is it just you then?’

I didn’t tell her Alex might be coming tomorrow.

Nick snorted, ‘Are you auditioning for a part, Sadie? Because you’re just not believable.’

Sadie said, ‘At least they show myfacewhen I get parts, lizard boy. No one’s ever CGI’d me out.’

She knows how to twist the knife. Nick is so embarrassed about that Star Trek thing. He really thought he was going to be the new face of American television.

Nick got all defensive, insisting he’d known all along they were going to CGI him out.

Sadie said, ‘Really? Because I heard your acting was so over-the-top theyhadto get rid of you, or lose hours of footage.’

Ouch.

Nick muttered something about pancake day.

Sadie smirked, stuck her bum out and said, ‘You know, I should have been an athlete. It suits me, don’t you think? I can run forever. Just forever.’

Then she looked at me and said, ‘You really do need a sports bra.’

During our run, we started talking about babies and pregnancy and stuff.

Sadie asked how Nick was at Daisy’s birth.

I told her he was terrified and spent half my labour downing whisky to cope with ‘mental female shit’. And after the birth, he took all my prescription painkillers for his hangover.

Sadie said maybe he’d do better with the next baby.

I told her we weren’t having another baby. Not unless Nick did some serious growing up.

We ran about a mile in total before Sadie complained about blisters.

‘You canover-train,’ she said, as we walked back to the apartment. ‘No sense burning ourselves out before the big day.’

Wednesday April 1st

Morning

Thought I’d do a spring clean this morning. It being spring and that.

So I tried to de-clutter the bathroom.

There’s SO much stuff in there. I divided it into pre- and post-pregnancy.

Pre-pregnancy

Va-va-voom! mascara, neon eyeshadow, glittery nail varnish, fruit face mask, waxing strips, tampons and general pampering stuff.

Post-pregnancy

Sanitary towels big enough to absorb a bath-load of water, a vaginal toning weight kit, stretch mark cream, suppositories, a big Velcro belt to help my stomach muscles knit together and hospital knickers made of stretchy netting.

How can something as natural as pregnancy and childbirth mess your body up so badly?

Evening

Alex called round at 8pm to take me running.

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