Page 52 of The Bad Mother's Diary

In the end, Nick didn’t make it back until midnight. He was out ‘comfort drinking’ because he’s realised the ‘Dead Stars on Mars’ movie ‘lacks artistic integrity’.

I mean, for goodness sake! He read the script. How much integrity did he expect in a love triangle between Marilyn Monroe, Elvis and an alien?

Thursday April 30th

Wow – the wedding is REALLY soon now. Barely even a month away.

Nick seems to be getting grumpier the nearer we get to it. I think it’s a money thing, because I’m forcing him to budget.

He likes wasting money on super-duper toys for Daisy, Thai takeaways, beer and Star Wars gadgets. But we can’t do that now we have a wedding and a house deposit to pay for. Plus, Daisy really doesn’t need any more animatronic teddy bears.

Saturday May 2nd

Daisy’s learned to roll over!

Finally! FINALLY!

The only trouble is she hasn’t learned to roll back again.

So she rolls onto her stomach and cries until I put her back. Then she rolls over again.

I preferred it when she just lay on her back. Don’t know what the rush to roll over was, really. Like Mum says, they all do it in their own time.

Monday May 4th

Early May Bank Holiday

Nick is grumpy today because he got yet another rejection. ?

I’d planned a lovely family day in Hyde Park. Tartan picnic blanket. Baguette. Wheel of brie. Elderflower water …

But Nick is all sad and zombie-like on the sofa.

Thursday May 7th

Anniversary today.

Nick and I have been together five years.

I think Nick forgot, because when I said, ‘happy anniversary’ he went white and rushed off to the supermarket to ‘buy milk’.

When he got back, he gave me an old lady card and a bottle of red wine.

Saturday 9thMay

Lovely day!

Afternoon tea with Laura and Brandi at the Bond Street Dalton.

Laura arranged it – I think because she knew Zach would be there.

She looked all glossy and lovely in black jeans, knee-high boots and a blouse.

Brandi wore a sexy secretary outfit – tight black pencil skirt, tight white blouse and lots of gold jewellery and red lipstick.

I tried to tart up my saggy leggings with a Chanel jacket that Helen was throwing out and a big necklace.

The jacket was a snug fit. And the arms were too long. But you know … it’s Chanel.

---