Page 60 of The Bad Mother's Diary

I said I hardly saw the point of dieting anymore, what with the wedding being so soon. Nick would just have to accept me for me, baby weight and all.

Helen told me again how shelostweight when Nick was born and that the hospital was worried she was justtooslim.

Then she went on about how perfect her wedding day had been.

I asked how Henry had liked it.

She said, ‘Not my wedding toHenry. My wedding toNicholas’sdad. Marrying him was the best day of my life.’

I said, ‘What about the day Nick was born?’

She said, ‘Ohthatday was awful. Absolutely awful. Being handed this scrawny, ugly little thing covered in … God, I don’t even want to say it. I seriously wanted to complain to somebody. But I reallydidlove Nicholas’s father. From the moment I met him.’

Then her eyes went all sharp and Helen-like and she said, ‘Men are imperfect creatures. You mustn’t forget that. Don’t love a man too much. He’ll only let you down.’

Saturday June 6th

Nick’s stag party tonight.

Ugh. I do not even want to THINK about what Nick will be up to.

I’m not exactly having a hen night, but Mum, Laura and Brandi have ‘something planned’.

Unfortunately, Helen is babysitting.

Helen said, ‘Christ – don’t have one of those hideous L-plate bingo heavy-drinking affairs, will you?Sotacky.’

I told her we’d probably just go for a nice meal somewhere in Great Oakley. I’m a mum now, after all. No more wild nights for me.

Sunday June 7th

Gala bingo!

Learner plates!

PINK TUTUS!

We hit the West End and danced on the stage until 3am.

Must remember though – fluorescent lights show up white stains. How had Daisy managed to wipe her nose on my back?

Had SUCH a laugh.

Mum did her party trick of drinking a pint of Guinness from her cleavage.

She was so drunk by 3am that she started singing songs fromFrozen.

Nick still wasn’t back when I got home. So he has no reason to moan at me.

Tired when I got home, but it was worth it.

As soon as I passed out, Daisy woke up. And then again. And again.

It’s like she knew I’d gone to bed late and was telling me off.

You’re halfway through!

Hope you’re liking the story so far, but hold on tight because there are about to be some explosions …

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