Page 64 of The Bad Mother's Diary

I’m old and on the shelf.

I asked Brandi if this happened because I got fat and didn’t wear scarves.

She said, ‘Don’t be stupid. Mum gets fatter every year. And Dad still loves her. And ANYWAY you’re notthatfat.’

Which is a pretty big compliment for Brandi.

I said, ‘Why would he do this to me?’

Brandi said, ‘Because he’s an idiot, Jules. An idiot.’

Sunday June 21st

Father’s Day

For some stupid reason, I thought Nick might call today.

Father’s Day and everything.

But no.

I bought him a present months ago (supposedly from Daisy). Solid-silver cufflinks with tiny prints of Daisy’s feet on them.

I gave the cufflinks to Dad, and he got all teary and went on about what an idiot Nick is, and how he loved being a granddad.

I cried too.

Then Dad said, ‘You’re worth ten of him love. You know that, don’t you?’

Wednesday June 24th

Nana Joan came to visit me today.

She’d borrowed her new boyfriend’s mobility scooter. Typical Nana Joan – she turned off the safety switch so it would go over 15 mph and nearly ran over a dog.

I told Nana off for coming all that way on her own, but she said, ‘Nothing’s more important than my Julesy right now.’

She took my hand in her gold-ringed fingers and said, ‘I reckon I gave Nick a black eye on your wedding day. Maybe worse.’

Apparently, she’d attacked Nick and Helen with her crutches after I left the church. It had taken two people to restrain her.

Realise I haven’t even written about my wedding day.

God – I’m SUCH a mess.

Friday June 26th

Okay.

My wedding day.

Here goes.

Mum made us sausage sandwiches for breakfast in the morning (probably the last decent meal I’ve eaten, now I come to think of it).

I let Brandi do my hair.

Laura stood over her (No Brandi! Don’t backcomb it. PUT THE HAIRSPRAY DOWN!), and it came out like we’d planned.

---