Page 66 of The Bad Mother's Diary

Then the vicar said the part about, ‘Any persons here present have any lawful reason why these two shouldn’t be joined in matrimony …’

And Sadie said, ‘SHE SHOULDN’T MARRY HIM AND IF HE WON’T TELL HER WHY THEN I WILL!’

Nick looked really scared and sort of muttered to Sadie, ‘Let’s not do this now.’

Sadie said, ‘Nick. She needs to know about us.’

She didn’t need to say anything else.

I knew then. I just knew.

Sadie and Nick …Sadie and Nick…

They’re better actors than I realised.

I felt like I was going to pass out. The big tent dress felt so tight all of a sudden. I couldn’t breathe.

All I could see were disappointed faces – people I knew. People I didn’t. People who loved me. All of us together in this horrible car crash. And Daisy with Mum … wearing a little flower girl dress.

I seriously thought I was going to have a heart attack or pass out or something.

I grabbed Daisy and ran down the aisle.

Then I sat in the wedding car, holding onto Daisy for dear life while she chewed the silk on my wedding dress.

Dad got in beside me, put his arm around me and told the driver to take us back to the pub.

Then I sat in my dark bedroom, watching Daisy sleep and thinking, ‘Her life is ruined.’

Wednesday July 1st

Nick still hasn’t called or texted. He hasn’t seen Daisy since the wedding.

It’s not like I want to speak to him. I never want to see him again. But I want him totryto get in touch. And I know he must be desperate to see Daisy.

Althea said it’s always the betrayal that hurts the most. But it’s not the betrayal. It’s the fact I didn’t have a clue. And I really should have done …

Friday July 3rd

Still no call from Nick.

Maybe he’s gone into his actor’s wallowing pit and thinks everyone hates him (we do) and that he wouldn’t be welcome if he called round (he wouldn’t).

But he should see Daisy. He’s her dad, after all.

Saturday July 4th

American Independence Day

Mum’s done the pub out in American flags and bunting.

She’s also made a red, white and blue meringue. It’s so big it fits a sparkler for every US state.

It pulled me out of my gloom a little bit, hearing Mum whistlingAmerican Pie.

I washed my face, dabbed some cover-up around my tired eyes and did a Skype link-up with Uncle Ralph in Los Angeles.

Uncle Ralph, Aunty Yasmin and little cousin Lolly were in their giant, sunny house waving American flags.

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