Page 67 of The Bad Mother's Diary

Uncle Ralph has done well for himself in the US. He’s got a big house on the beach, a blonde lingerie model wife and one of those American fridge freezers that make ice cubes.

Thought I was holding it together pretty well.

Then Uncle Ralph, who’s always pretty blunt, said I should sell the wedding dress quick and try to make some cash back.

I burst into stupid tears and ran out of the room.

Sunday July 5th

Told Althea I was thinking of calling Nick.

I’ve never heard so many swear words in one sentence.

After Althea had calmed down, she said, ‘Don’t start feeling sorry for him. He’s a cock head. You’re too nice. Why hasn’t he calledyoufor fuck’s sake?’

She’s right.

Totally, completely right.

She said, ‘When life gives you lemons, put a slice in your Coca-Cola. Then add some rum.’

Monday July 6h

Cracked and called Nick today.

I suppose I just wanted to get some clarity. Some answers.

For a horrible moment I thought he wasn’t going to pick up. That would have been the ultimate humiliation. But he did. On the tenth ring.

He sounded gravelly and tired.

I told him he should arrange to see his daughter.

He said, ‘Yeah, I know, I know. I miss her so much. I just didn’t want to make anything worse.’

I said things couldn’t get any worse. Then I asked if there was anything else he wanted to say.

He said he hoped there were no bad feelings.

Like we’d had a row over the electricity bill or something.

I told him there was nothingbutbad feelings. And that he was a disgusting human being who’d ruined Daisy’s life.

In a village as small as Great Oakley, everyone will know that Daddy slept with Mummy’s bridesmaid.

Nick said, ‘You’re staying in Oakley then?’

I said I’d be at the Oakley Arms until I’d sorted things out.

He said, ‘When will you and Daisy next be in London? I really miss her.’

I told him I didn’t know.

There was a silence. Then Nick said, ‘Sorry about all this, Jules. Sadie and I – we just fit. You know how I am. I just go with my heart.’

I didn’t think he could hurt me any more.

Bastard.

---