Page 72 of The Bad Mother's Diary

I think I swore quite a lot then, because I remember Helen wincing and saying something about Anglo-Saxon language.

I made it all the way to the car before I burst into tears.

I cuddled Daisy. She chewed on a tile sample.

Then I phoned Laura. She was in the uni coffee shop with Zach.

In the background, I could hear Zach saying, ‘Excuse me, I’mterriblysorry but is this fairtrade tea? Don’t want to shit all over the farmers. Thank you.’

It’s sweet that those two are getting along, but also bad timing.

Why couldn’t Laura get a wonderful boyfriend years ago when I was happy with Nick?

Thursday July 16th

Had five voicemail messages today. Thought they’d all be from Nick. But they were all blank ones from Althea. She’s never figured out how to hang up if someone doesn’t answer.

Friday July 17th

SO sick of checking my phone for Nick to call or text. I’ve decided to block his number. That way I won’t drive myself mad running to my phone whenever it bleeps.

Saturday July 18th

Laura’s birthday today. I feel terrible – I forgot all about it.

Brandi forgot too, but she forgets everyone’s birthday. As the youngest in the family, she gets away with everything.

Phoned Laura to beg forgiveness. She didn’t mind. She said the health and happiness of her family and friends was the only gift she wanted.

Zach is taking her out to some posh restaurant tonight.

Laura’s panicking that she won’t understand the menu.

She’s been swotting up on posh food words. Apparently lardon is just another word for bacon.

Sunday July 19th

Still no news about Nick and Sadie.

Daisy has another cold. The poor snotty little thing. It’s agonising listening to her gasping for breath. I feel so worried.

Mum said, ‘She’s fine. Look at the size of those nostrils. You three were always coldy as babies. And you turned out just fine …’

I ended up buying this contraption to suck snot out of Daisy’s nose.

It goes on the pile of baby devices that are supposed to make life easier but don’t actually work.

I have a whole box of them now, including:

A nursery thermometer that always says the room is dangerously hot.

A cot-death prevention sensor that goes off every time Daisy falls asleep.

A car bottle warmer that takes half an hour to heat a bottle.

A warmer for wet wipes.

Various teething products – amber teething necklace, teething powder sachets, chunky plastic teething keys.

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