Page 76 of The Bad Mother's Diary

Daisy giggled and cooed and grabbed at his chin. The little traitor.

Nick asked if I wanted to pick up the rest of my things, like my running gear. He’d put it all in a bin bag for me.

I lied and said he should get ready to buy me a new wardrobe when I finished the marathon.

Brave talk I know.

I stalked out with my head held high.

Then I burst into tears in the lobby.

Thursday July 30th

Dark curtains and sobbing again. It didn’t last all day though, because I had a play date with Althea. She hammered on my bedroom door and wouldn’t stop shouting until I got dressed and came out.

We ended up in the Great Oakley pottery café.

It’s one of those places where kids get to paint their own plates.

Daisy and Wolfgang were way too young in my opinion, but Althea insisted they should express themselves.

Wolfgang’s plates were veryintense– all angry slashes, deep purples, blacks and reds. He’s either going to be an artist or need therapy.

He only smashed two things. He would have smashed a third, but the pottery lady wrestled it out of his hands.

She didn’t exactly throw us out. But she made it clear we wouldn’t be getting any more cups of tea.

Told Althea about my trip to Nick’s apartment.

She boomed, ‘That SHIT bag.’ Then she offered to slash Nick’s tyres.

Althea is a good friend.

Friday July 31st

Laura and I had a chat about ‘next steps’, re: Nick and Sadie.

She said, ‘Sort out maintenance quickly. Because it looks like she’s getting her claws in. How pregnant did she look?’

I told her I didn’t know. Sadie had been under the duvet when I came round.

I confessed my bravado speech about running the marathon, and Laura said, ‘Why not run it? Show them both what you can do? Make Nick pay that bet.’

I said, ‘But Ican’tdo it, Laura. I can barely manage two miles. And that’s in warm weather.’

Laura said, ‘Of course you can do it. You know what they say in my karate class? A black belt is a white belt who never gave up. We can start training again. Whenever you like.’

I said I’d think about it.

Meaning no.

Saturday August 1st

Heard from mutual friends that Sadie has been ‘sort of living’ with Nick for a few weeks.

So pretty much since the wedding.

I didn’t think I had any tears left, but I do.

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