Page 87 of The Bad Mother's Diary

Took Callum out for a walk today.

How does anyone cope with two kids?

The second we got to the woodland path, Callum hurtled off towards the lake.

I ran after him, stroller bumping over sticks and mud, shouting, ‘Callum! Callum! You’ll ruin your flashing trainers!’

Before I knew it, he’d jumped in the lake.

He splashed around shouting, ‘Aye, Aye Captain Birdseye!’

I shouted at him to get out.

Then I offered him a biscuit.

He said, ‘I want a Magnum Chocolate Infinity.’

(How has he even HEARD about those? I blame Mum.)

Thank God an old man with a fishing rod shouted, ‘Come on out now sonny and I’ll show you my fishing line and maggots.’

Callum loves anything disgusting.

The man showed Callum a patch of daisies too, and picked one for him to take home.

Callum seemed quite interested in the daisy. But as we walked back through the woods he said, ‘That flower tasted horrible, Aunty Julesy.’

How am I going to cope when Daisy can run around?

Sunday August 23rd

Very, very weird day.

Sadie came round the pub.

Brandi opened the door and screamed at her to ‘FUCK OFF AND DIE’.

But I said she could come in.

Sadie was SO nervous. Shaking, actually.

Mum took Brandi, Callum and Daisy out into the garden.

The pub was pretty empty, so Sadie and I grabbed a corner booth.

Sadie started gabbling and crying, ‘I’m so, so sorry. I know I’ve fucked up. I’ve ruined everything. I love you more than anything in the world. You’re the only one who ever accepted me. My only true friend. And I did this to you. I know I’m a massive selfish bitch. But all that’s going to change. I promise you. I’m having a baby. A baby!’ Her eyes were all crazy. ‘I need you in my life, Jules. I can’t do this alone.’

I said, ‘You’re living with Nick aren’t you? Won’thebe in your life?’

She said, ‘But I needadultsupport.’

Then she said things with Nick weren’t going well because he didn’t pay any bills or flush the toilet.

I told her she and Nick deserved each other.

She said, ‘I’m not that bad, am I?’

Then she went on about how her boyfriends always fancied me and it had been nice for once that it was the other way around.

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