Page 97 of The Bad Mother's Diary

Halfway back down Oxford Street, I realised I’d accidentally shoplifted three pairs of neon socks. They were hanging off different parts of the pram.

Went all the way back to Primark to hand them in.

The security man asked me why I’d come back, since I ‘got away with it’.

Wandered down New Bond Street past all the designer shops.

Saw this AMAZING brown tote bag that Laura would just LOVE for Christmas.

Then a car pulled up beside me.

I started to apologise for the size of the pram and how it wouldn’t all fit on the pavement.

But then I shut up, because Alex Dalton was in the car.

He was wearing a black suit and glaring at me.

He said, ‘We saw you walking. Can we give you a lift?’

His little sister Jemima was in the back.

I nodded at the pram and said, ‘Thanks, but this pram was made in the days of horses and carts. I don’t think it’ll fit in your car.’

Alex said, ‘We’ll walk with you then. Jemima could do with the fresh air.’ Then he pulled the car up on the curb.

I said, ‘You’ve parked on a double yellow line again.’

Alex said, ‘And I’ll pay for the parking ticket. Again.’

God!

I was torn between disapproval (stuck-up rich people thinking they can pay to do whatever they like) and being massively impressed (he’s such a rebel! No care for the law!).

Jemima clip-clopped out of the car wearing a little madam outfit of blue jeans, flat knee-high riding boots, a lovely navy blue sweater and a jaunty little pink satchel slung across her body. Utterly adorable.

Alex asked if I was enjoying London.

I told him I hadn’t really enjoyed London since I had Daisy.

Alex said he hated cities too.

I said, ‘But aren’t all your hotels in cities?’

He said, ‘Yes. I like the hotels. Just not the cities.’

Alex asked if I was going inside the handbag shop.

I said, ‘We’re off to Mothercare actually.’ In a silly, high voice.

Jemima said, ‘Oh we’dloveto go with you.’ Then she grabbed my hand and said I’d have to show her the way.

Alex walked beside us, hands in his trouser pockets, looking all serious.

When we got to Mothercare, Alex frowned at all the kids bouncing in the cots.

Jemima said, ‘Can I –’

Alex said, ‘No.’

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