Page 38 of Love or Your Money Back

‘Gentlemen,’ Freddy interrupts. ‘I will be accompanying Katerina to Royal Ascot, as her business partner and I can tell you her diary is already very full. I imagine you’ll have to check your diary, won’t you, Katerina? Before committing to anything.’

My forehead scrunches. ‘Oh! Right. Yes, I should check.’

Ahmet gives me a broad grin. ‘I do hope you can find the time –’

‘Do you know what?’ Marcus sits up straighter. ‘Ascot can be very busy. Lots of business going on and so forth. Katerina, if your schedule is tight, I’d hate to miss you. Maybe we should meet up next week? Can I take you to dinner? We can talk about my cousin’s MS Society endeavours and … other things?’

‘I’m free next week too.’ Ahmet hunts in his suit jacket pocket with some urgency. ‘Katerina, take my card. Can I take yours too? I’ll call you and we can set up a dinner to talk about Little Voice’s property investments and, well, whatever you’d like to talk about really. We can get to know each other better. Socially.’

I hold down a smile. ‘Thank you, Ahmet. Marcus. I’ll have to check my diary to see what time I can give you. Would you excuse me for a moment?’ I stand, placing my napkin on the chair. Then I take a brusque walk across the restaurant, which grows faster as I see the lady’s room up ahead. Once inside the toilets, I give three sharp shrieks of delight.

A lady washing her hands gives me an alarmed look.

‘Sorry,’ I say. ‘It’s just I’m 34 and desperate to get married and two millionaires just asked me out on dates next week. And all I had to do was change my wardrobe and not act so desperate. Packaging, placement and promotion. I can’t believe it worked. I’m so happy!’

The woman lets out a shriek of her own. She hugs me and leads me in a little happy dance around the toilets. Then we head back outside, where I find Freddy waiting for me. The woman winks at me and strides away.

‘Kat –’ Freddy begins.

‘Do you often lurk outside ladies’ toilets?’ I demand.

‘I wanted to check you were okay. You went sprinting across the restaurant like a lightning bolt.’

‘I don’t have diarrhoea, if that’s what you’re asking.’

‘It wasn’t. I was worried you were having a flare-up.’

‘Not at all. I feel GREAT. I just landed dates with two nice men who want to get married. Areyouokay? You look weird.’

‘Weird? I don’t look weird.’

‘You do. Like you care about me or something. Not your usual expression at all.’

Freddy clears his throat. ‘I’m just worried about your brand. Don’t accept dates with Marcus or Ahmet just yet, will you? And Ascot is a great placement, but I need to make sure you’re sending out the right brand messages. I should accompany you.’

‘You’d better not follow me around like an over-anxious parent.’

‘Not an over-anxious parent. A friend who wants to help you find a husband.’

‘I’m a friend? Who’d have thought? We hated each other when we first met.’

‘I didn’t hate you,’ says Freddy. ‘Actually, I thought you were pretty astonishing. Look, I’m sorry about earlier. It won’t happen again. I don’t know what came over me. Now listen. Marcus and Ahmet have both asked for your contact details. Which is brilliant. But under no circumstances are you to callthem. Do you understand? Theymustcall you. Exclusive products don’t chase around after customers.’

‘But what if they don’t call –’

‘Then they are not worth your time. When we get back to the table, you’re going to say your goodbyes and leave early. Before dessert and coffee. I’ve already called a cab for you.’

‘Are you insane? Why on earth would I miss dessert?’

‘This is part of your promotional strategy, Kat. You are an exclusive, in-demand product and you have other time commitments. Always leave them wanting more. Got it?’

‘But I don’t have other time commitments.’

‘Yes. But Marcus and Ahmet don’t know that. I’ll bag up dessert for you.’

‘Yes, you’d better.’

Back at the table, I find a smiling Ahmet, an intense Marcus and four extremely large chocolate brownies with Chantilly cream waiting at the table. I look longingly at the dessert but force myself to say brief goodbyes then hurry away like Cinderella at midnight.

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