Page 66 of Love or Your Money Back

‘Do me a favour.’ Freddy starts throwing things into the food processor. Bananas. Cacao powder. Spoons of peanut butter. And bizarrely, half a lettuce. ‘Don’t get too attached to Marcus and Ahmet. There are more men in the world than just those too.’

‘Don’t start this again. I like Marcus and Ahmet –’

‘But the way you talk about them … it’s all so practical. Like you’re settling.’

‘I am settling. That’s what we signed up for, right? Marriage is just a transaction where both people benefit. I’m too old for fairy tales.’

Freddy turns to me then, one hand on the food processor. ‘Maybe youshouldhold out for the fairy tale. Not just the acceptable. The best. The very best.’

‘I’ve never really cared about having the best.’

‘The only reason people don’t care about the best is because deep down, they don’t feel they deserve it.’

‘I want to get married this year, Freddy. I have to be practical. I have two men interested in me who are way above my level –’

‘No,’ says Freddy. ‘They’re not. You’re above their level. You just don’t see it.’

‘That’s very kind. And by the way, that smoothie looks disgusting.’

‘Needs must in a house without spinach or protein powder.’ Freddy opens the food processor and scrapes a spoon around the inside ‘Okay, fine. I suppose it’s better you have someone carrying you upstairs than no one at all. But at the very least, ditch Marcus. All he’s thinking about is his political career. Ahmet has a more genuine connection with you.’

‘I’m glad you said that.’ I smile. ‘I prefer Ahmet. He’s funny. Hey – when we first met, did you ever imagine yourself standing in my kitchen wearing my dressing gown?’

‘I did actually,’ says Freddy. ‘It was one of the first thoughts I had when I met you.’

I laugh. Because obviously, Freddy is joking.

Freddy turns back to the blender. ‘Listen, Kat, I’m going to be pretty busy the next few weeks. So I think the best thing … I mean, if you have another relapse, call me. But otherwise, just focus on dating Ahmet, record the data and email it over. Time to take off the training wheels and go solo. Okay?’

‘But I need your help.’

‘No, you don’t. You’re doing great on your own. Packaged, placed and promoted to perfection. Trust me. I’ve launched plenty of products. You are ready to be a bestseller.’

CHAPTER46

Ongoing Evaluation

Saturday 10th July

Okay, Freddy.

I am now flying solo, but I have missed seeing you this week. Who’d have ever thought I’d say that sentence, let alone type it into a computer and email it to you?

Ahmet was over the moon when I told him I wanted to date him exclusively. He phoned his mother and told her he was ‘going steady with a wonderful girl’. His mother was so happy she screamed down the phone line. Ahmet has now arranged for me to meet her, which makes me both happy and nervous.

I called Marcus last night to say I couldn’t date him anymore, and he took the news well. He said we should still be friends, and asked if I had a sister.

Monday 18th July

Thank you for sending me vitamins, Freddy. They are appreciated. I am less grateful for the pages of data on diet and exercise. However, I did join a gym as advised and guess what? Ahmet has joined too so we can exercise together.

Your assistant says you’re busy arranging meetings for the Frankfurt Book Fair. Is anyone interesting in the diary?

Monday 25th July

I can now tell you that Ahmet is durable. Not in a sexual way, Freddy. I haven’t slept with him or ruined my exclusive image. But we went hiking in the Welsh mountains for a long weekend and got utterly soaked.

It was so much fun.

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