Page 85 of Love or Your Money Back

The European Publishing Awards is held at Frankfurt City Hall: a three-storey gingerbread house, filled with historic paintings and panelled wood. Freddy doesn’t care for the venue. He likes modern buildings with decent heating systems. And you can’t make an old building warm, no matter what history-loving nerds will tell you.

Kat has never looked more stunningly, perfectly beautiful, in Freddy’s not-so-humble opinion. Not because she’s wearing a red velvet evening dress that contrasts so perfectly with her glossy, black hair. Or because her golden green eyes have been layered with smoky makeup and her lips are a dazzling shade of plummy red. But because she braved using a wheelchair and now looks, to Freddy, like a queen on a throne.

The room watches in surprise as Kat wheels up to her table, greeting her team with a stiff wave. There are whispers around the ceremony room. Did the overcrowded, sunless Frankfurt Book Fair finally overwhelm a delegate to the point of paralysis?

The team look momentarily shocked to see Kat in a wheelchair but quickly gets over it.

‘Hey, chica.’ Gabriela puts a hand on Kat’s shoulder. ‘I’ll get you a drink. You look like you need one.’

‘No thank you, Gabriela,’ says Kat. ‘Alcohol is terrible for MS at the best of times. Let alone during a flare-up.’

‘Are. You. Okay. Kat?’ Duncan asks, in a loud, slow voice.

Kat rolls her eyes, which looks painful. ‘It’s my legs that don’t work, Duncan. There’s nothing wrong with my hearing.’

Alan gives Kat a double thumbs up. ‘Ever our caustic-tongued Katerina, even in physical peril. Bravo!’

‘Okay, team.’ Kat places heavy elbows on the white tablecloth. ‘Ignore the disability apparatus. Let’s get down to business. Gabriela won the sweepstake, so she’ll collect the Diverse Publisher award this year. And no, Duncan, there will be no retakes. Gabriela won fair and square.’

‘Question.’ Alan leans forwards. ‘Who will collect the Small Press of the Year award?’

‘Ifwe win Small Press of the Year, you willallgo up and collect the trophy,’ says Kat. ‘Okay? And if wedon’twin, no booing. Duncan, I’m looking at you.’

The team nods in agreement.

As Gabriela tops up everyone’s wine glasses, a hushed silence falls over the ceremony room. The house lights go down, and German crime author, Margot Fick, strides onto the stage.

Margot is extremely glamorous, with long, golden waves of hair, a split gown showing a lot of tanned leg and approximately 50,000 Euros worth of diamonds resting on her proud bosom. Clearly, crime does pay.

‘Welcome to the European Publishing Awards.’ Margot reaches the podium and takes the mic. ‘I am Margot Fick, author of the bestselling Blutbad series. Blutbad, of course, means ‘Blood Bath’ in English, and I have murdered more people than anyone else I know.’

This entertaining statement gets a much-deserved round of applause. Then Margot goes on to thank lots of people, which loses the crowd a little. Eventually, Margot announces the first award: European Diverse Publisher of the Year.

‘The Diverse Publisher of the Year award is always up first,’ Kat tells Freddy in a shaking whisper. ‘They get all the less important awards out of the way, and build up to Publisher of the Year as a grand finale.’

Freddy raises an eyebrow. ‘Isn’t diversity important?’

‘Yes it is, Freddy.’ Kat manages a nod. ‘But it doesn’t pay the bills. Hence the relegation to minor, opening award.’

‘Diversity can make money,’ says Freddy. ‘There’s money in everything if you market it right –’

‘Shush!’ Gabriela puts an angry finger to her lips. ‘Margot is announcing the nominees.’

Freddy falls silent, whilst Margot announces Little Voice and Radical Red as the only two nominations.

‘And this year’s European Diverse Publisher of the year is …. ‘ Margot has clearly been watching X-factor and similar reality TV contests because she holds the pause way too long.

‘Little Voice! Which I now understand is called BIG Voice. Right?’

The table explodes with whoops, cheers and applause. Duncan even climbs onto his chair to make air punches.

The rest of the ceremony room is luck lustre, clapping politely.

Freddy has to hand it to Kat’s team – they are genuinely delighted to win the same award year after year. You can’t fake smiles like that. Freddy gets why Kat can’t fire these guys. They are a family. Loyal, dedicated and loving.

True, Duncan has his steak well done and covered in ketchup. Alan probably struggles to chew steak. And Gabriela doesn’t pause for breath between sentences. For a woman speaking English as a second language, she certainly has mastered saying a lot of words quickly. But they all love Kat. It goes way beyond the pay cheque and it’s heart-warming.

As the applause dies down, Kat gives Gabriela a prod. ‘Off you go, Gabriela. Don’t talk about your cats for too long.’

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