Page 87 of Love or Your Money Back

We turn to the stage as Margot announces the last award of the night: Publisher of the Year. It’s never a particularly exciting award. Just a rotation of the big five publishers: Penguin Random House, Harper Collins, Hachette, Simon and Schuster …

‘Big VOICE.’

The words boom through the sound system, followed by a moment of silence. Then thunderous applause breaks out.

Jaws can’t hit the floor. That’s a metaphor. But looking around the table, I can see the teams’ collective jawlines working very, very hard to make that metaphor a reality. Gabriela looks shocked to the point of being possessed.

My mouth is also wide open.

‘Big Voice!’ Margot says again. ‘And you are a big voice now. With your 500% profit increase, plus distribution deal with Penguin Random House.’

I close my mouth and turn to Freddy. ‘We don’t have a distribution deal with Penguin Random House. There’s been a mistake.’

‘It’s not a mistake,’ says Freddy. ‘I called Heidi earlier and explained about your flare-up. She agreed to the distribution deal on the spot and talked about how courageous you were. She must have told the judges and put us on the nominee list.’

‘Good god.’ I stare at the new Big Voice logo, flashing on the screen behind Margot. ‘This can’t be happening.’

Around the table, the team give stunned nods.

‘I told you, Kat,’ says Freddy. ‘Think big and you achieve big.’

‘Big Voice?’ Margot calls from the stage. ‘Would you like to come up here and collect your award?’

I look around the table. ‘Off you go, team. Get your flashy teeth ready.’

‘Not without you, Kat,’ says Gabriela. ‘You need to collect that award with us.’

‘Gabriela, I can’t walk –’

‘We’ll carry you.’ Duncan stands.

I blink rapidly. ‘Um … I don’t think that’s a good idea –’

‘Yes!’ Gabriela stands abruptly. ‘That is what friends do. We carry each other in good times and bad. You have carried us, Kat. Many, many times. And we will carry you in your wheelchair like a sedan-chair empress in Ancient Rome.’ She motions to the table, and Freddy and Alan stand too.

‘Very funny, everyone.’ I turn in alarm, as Alan weaves towards me on bony legs and a bad hip. ‘Emperors in Rome were carried by slaves so it probably doesn’t set the right … to —tooooone!’

Too late, I am raised aloft.

‘Good god!’ I hold on tight to my armrests. ‘We’re doing this? Even with Alan’s hip replacement and Gabriela’s wine-induced unsteadiness? If she’s not safe to drive, is she safe to lift a wheeeeeeel-chair?’

‘Don’t worry,’ Freddy grunts, as I am carried across the room on the collective team shoulders. ‘I’m doing most of the lifting.’

As I’m carried up the stage steps, applause crashes like waves. By the time we reach the podium, the applause becomes a standing ovation.

Tears come.

Margot approaches, showing a lot of tanned leg. She holds the mic so I can speak into it.

‘Thank you.’ I struggle with my warbling voice. ‘Wow. A standing ovation for someone who can’t walk. What a great example of irony.’

Ripples of laughter move through the audience.

‘This is incredible.’ I blink back tears. ‘I’m stunned. And I have good news. Thanks to my wheelchair, you have reached your diversity quota for the evening.’

More laughter. I wait for it to die down, then clear my throat, ready for the serious stuff.

‘Little Voice was founded on friendship,’ I say. ‘The team and I walk down the Yellow Brick Road together. Some days we get attacked by flying monkeys. But on other days, like today … well, someone found the ruby slippers. We deserve to be Big Voice. We always did.’

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