Page 90 of Love or Your Money Back

‘Are you okay?’ he whispers. ‘You’re not in pain or anything?’

‘I’m in the opposite of pain. Although emotionally … oh god.’

‘You don’t need to worry.’ Freddy’s brown eyes are light and earnest. ‘I’ll take care of you.’

‘I bet you say that all the time to girls.’

‘No.’ Freddy’s voice is serious. ‘I don’t. Because I’ve never done that before.’

‘Done what?’

‘Made love.’

Kat gives a shocked laugh. ‘You’re high on sex chemicals. I should get back to my room.’ She sits up.

‘No.’ Freddy grabs her hand. ‘Don’t go. Fall asleep with me. And we’ll live happily ever after.’

‘Freddy –’

‘I know, I know. You’re sceptical. People were sceptical about the Dyson Vacuum and the Tesla. Ridiculous. Impossible. But when visionaries believed in those ideas, the ridiculous became magic.’

Freddy’s eyes are so hopeful that Kat can’t help smiling. She lies down, letting Freddy tuck the covers back around her.

‘Rest.’ Freddy kisses her forehead. ‘And tomorrow, we’ll start a whole new life together.’

‘I suppose we can dream.’ Kat closes her eyes.

As Freddy watches Kat fall asleep, he can’t keep the smile off his face. He feels drunk but with all his mental faculties. The whole world has changed in the most beautiful way. Usually, when he sleeps with a woman, he wants to get the hell out of the door as soon as possible. But with Kat … he could watch her forever. He wants to wake her up and tell her he loves her. And hear her say it again too. The world just exploded into sunshine and butterflies, and Freddy never wants it to end.

But then, around midnight, panic sets in. Euphoria drains away like dirty bath water and Freddy realises he is scared shitless.

This closeness. It’s so very, very frightening. He’s never had this much to lose before. What if Kat gets into an accident? Or falls asleep and doesn’t wake up? Or leaves him for someone else? Ordiesbecause of her illness? She did say that people with MS don’t live as long.

He couldn’t bear it if Kat ever … and this is only after one night. What will it be like after a week? Or a month? Or a year? He’ll be a nervous wreck, no good to anyone.

Freddy pulls out his phone and Googles: Multiple Sclerosis life expectancy.

People with MS die ten years younger than the average person –

Freddy feels his heart clenching. Ten years without her? It’s too much. He’s made beautiful love to Kat once. Just once. And already, he feels such a horrible panic about losing her.

He can’t do this. Not without falling apart. He’s just too … he doesn’t know what he is. But he can’t handle feeling like this.

Freddy stays awake all night, his chest rigid with fear. At five am (he knows it’s 5 am because his Rolex dial glows – one of the many benefits of buying a premium brand) he has an epiphany. There’s still time to end this before anyone gets hurt. It’s only been one night. Sure, he told Kat he loved her. But he hasn’t proposed or done anything stupidly official.

Freddy launches up in bed. He needs to get back to London and begin the long process of forgetting all about last night.

‘Kat?’ Freddy watches Kat’s sleeping face. ‘I have to go.’

Kat’s eyelids flutter.

‘I’m heading back to London. Take care. Okay?’ He gives Kat a quick kiss on the cheek and leaps out of bed. Then he jumps back into bed and kisses Kat all over her face. ‘I love you. I’m so sorry.’ He takes one last lingering look at her, then gets on with packing his bags.

Most people would struggle to pack in half-light, but not Freddy. This is not the first time he’s walked out of a dark hotel room with a sleeping woman in it. The quiet dressing. The delicate zipping of suitcases. And then exiting the room with the gentlest of door clicks. Freddy is an expert.

As Freddy rolls his suitcases out of the suite and towards the elevator, he feels a lot more wretched than he usually does.

Kat will never forgive him. He knows that. But it’s for the best.

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