Page 99 of Now to Forever

I laugh softly, shrugging my shoulders as I look out at the mountainous horizon line and watch Gary trudge across the parking lot.

Ford rolls by in his truck, waving at Mel who waves back. He lifts his chin at me, and it sets a hive of bees loose in my belly as I force a smile.

Mel lets out a smoky exhale. “The world is smaller than we give it credit. You know Ford helped me get in touch with the right people to start these meetings?”

“I didn’t know that.” Out of the corner of my eye, I notice June, waving with two cups of coffee by her minivan. “Doesn’t surprise me though. He’s that kind.”

Mel's brows lift. “That kind?”

“The kind that makes everything better by simply existing.”

She regards me a bit.

“You love him.” Just like when Glory said it, it’s not a question. “Makes sense. He’s about the only person I know who could tolerate you.”

I chuckle softly.

“I’m not sure I know how to love.”

She blows out a final smoky breath and stubs out her cigarette. “Of course you do, Scotty. One day at a time, just like Blair said. We don’t talk about it enough. We look at big victories, always comparing our beginnings to someone else’s end. Hell, every book on the shelf started with a single word, but we don’t think of it that way. We see the collective. You want to love that man?” She points the stubbed-out nub of a cigarette at me. “You start from there and do it like Blair did. Slow, scared, but without looking back.”

I let the words replay themselves. “Maybe.”

She picks up the LL sign with a huff. “You’re annoying when you’re nice.”

“You’re annoying when you’re a sober savant, I guess we’re even.”

We exchange a look of teasing contempt before I jog across the parking lot to June and take the coffee she offers with greedy hands and agimme.

“You were good in there today,” she says, taking a nonchalant sip from her cup.

I snap my eyes to her. “You listen?”

She scoffs. “You’re going to LL meetings, of course I listen.”

“That’s fucking rude, Joo!”

She barks out a laugh. “Says the woman who eavesdropped on my therapy sessions with dead bodies for years.”

“Where do you listen from?” I ask, incredulous. Feeling violated as I look at the church.

“The hall.” She shrugs. “The door is cracked, so I just stand out there and can hear. Your loud mouth makes it easy.”

We settle on the bumper of her minivan.

“Wanna tell me what happened with Ford last night?” she asks.

“Hmm.” She frowns at the word, and I grin before taking a sip of my coffee. “He said he was in love with me and asked me to stay the night.”

She drops her head onto my shoulder as we look at the mountains. “You tell him?”

I shake my head, taking another sip.

“You need to, Scott. All of it.”

The idea opens a deep abyss inside of me.

“I don’t know how.”

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