Page 16 of Clover

“He was stupid enough totakeClover. So maybe he’s conceded enough to think we won’t find her wherever he has her.” Which will be the last mistake he ever makes if I have any say in the matter.

“Maybe yes. But so far, that’s the only stupid thing he’s done. Let’s just meet everyone at the bar and see what we can do next. Ok?” he sounds almost as exhausted as I feel. I know he’s right, and I could use a little rest, but I just can’t allow myself to. Whenever I think of where she might be and what he might be doing to her, I feel panic and guilt. How can I be resting safe and comfortable when he has her?

“You’re not going to be any good to her or me in this state, Nix.” Beau’s final attempt to persuade me breaks through the cocaine and anger-induced haze, and I have to agree with him. What else am I going to do? We’ve checked all of our areas, and we don’t have any more information about her whereabouts now than we did before.

“Fine,” I growl out as I slip into the driver’s seat of my Camaro Beau in the passenger seat and peel out of the warehouse's parking lot.

Back at the bar Beau and I meet up with the rest of my cousins who are helping look for Clover. This time including Magnus, Lily, and Arrow, but Griffon remains in his precious office. Of course, he wouldn’t come to the bar. He only ever leaves that office of his when absolutely necessary or forced. I don’t have time to force him right now. If he doesn’t want to be here, then fine, he doesn’t have to be here.

I’m trying not to be angry at my family. I know they’re not the ones to blame here. I am. Me and my stupidity, not following my gut instinct that told me Braxton wasn’t just going to leave Clover alone. Damn it, I wish there were no accords at this moment so I could take care of Braxton how he deserves to be. Without an avenue for my rage, I’m snapping at my cousins when I don’t really mean to.

They all put their lives on hold to help find her. Not only did she slip between the cracks in my heart, but she managed to easily fall into theirs, as well. Rosie’s eyes are rimmed red from crying, worrying over her and her safety. The two have become so close in such a short time. Rosie treating her like a sister, accepting her into our family as easily as the rest. Lily looks more furious than I’ve ever seen her. Her normal soft and sweet demeanor, replaced with a flat, somewhat devious glare. Not sure I’ve ever seen that look on her face, and I’m slightly perturbed by it. She’s not looking at anyone and seems deep in thought while she mindlessly rubs Rosie’s back.

Not to mention I’ve never seen Beau so distraught. He may act pulled together and calm, but I can see the guilt and pain beneath the surface right there next to his own healthy Colton-sized anger. He’s just a lot better at keeping it in check than I am.

Clover’s absence is seriously fucking with all of us. Beau was right. She does belong here, with us—with me. I will prove to her that I can keep her safe in my world of debauchery and violence. Even if it’s with more violence. My only hope is that she is strong enough to fend off Braxton until I find her.

We’ve managed to keep him rather busy with our little hunting parties. Making him clean up behind us. Following him every opportunity we get. Arrow has kept one of his men on him at all times. He hasn’t gone anywhere unusual. Spending the little time he has, in-between straightening out the whirlwind of shit we make for him, in his penthouse loft in downtown Charlotte.

There has to be something we missed.

“Did we check all his properties?” I bark as we sit in the empty bar. Not meaning to sound so angry, but I can’t help the unrestrained anger constantly flowing from me. Griffon, in his hidey-hole, has also been keeping tabs on the situation and helping to search in the areas not as easily accessible to us. He hasn’t informed the council yet. Only because we haven’t found actual proof that Braxton was the one to take Clover. The instant we do, he said he would involve them. But not one second prior.

“Yes,” Zander replies sharply.

“Are we sure?” I don’t expect Zander to lie to me, but I have to make sure we check everywhere.

“Yes, Nix. Everywhere except his private residence. And I highly doubt he’s going to invite us over for a friendly dinner party.” Magnus, the ever rational one, is right, of course. We have checked everywhere except his loft. Like Beau said, he’s dumb but not stupid. He wouldn’t keep her in his private residence even if that’s the only place we can’t search.Would he?No, that’s too obvious. He wouldn’t risk it. Or would he? I’m so fucking confused and lost right now. I don’t know which way is up and which way is hotdogs.

The world is a massive jumble in my brain. I can’t think—there’s too much. Too much pain, panic, and overwhelming love for this girl that stormed into my life one night. Throwing her sass at me without a fraction of concern. Imprinting herself inside me and planting roots in my bones. There’s no way I can go on with my life as it was. Not now that she’s in it.

I need to focus. Focus Nix.

Reaching into my pocket, I pull out a small bag of white powder. Tapping a little onto the back of my hand, I snort the cocaine I let it rocket through my bloodstream. The chemical concoction shooting straight to my brain, sharpening the world and pulling everything into focus.

Better.

Now everything makes sense. I know what I have to do.

“I just need to beat it out of Braxton and then kill him.” Nothing ever sounded so right. This is exactly what I need to do. But the chorus of resounding no’s that come from all of my cousins makes me think they don’t feel the same. But they can’t stop me. I’m going to find out where she is, one way or another. My feet carry me toward the front door. My mind made up. It’s the only thing left to do now.

“No, Nix” Arrow steps in front of me, blocking my way to the answer.

“Out of the way, Arrow.”

“No.”

“I will move you,” I warn. Allowing my anger to seep into the words. He may be one of my closest friends and a blood relative, but that won’t stop me.

We stand and stare at one another, neither of us moving. Fisting my hands at my side, I am prepared to fight through Arrow if I have to. He’s nowhere near my massive size. It won’t take much to move him. Nothing and no one will stop me from getting to her. Not him, not the accords, or the other families. She’s more important than all of them. This tiny redheaded girl that I can’t deny I love means more to me than any of it. All of it pales in comparison. And if I have to risk it all to get her back, I will. And when I find her, I will make sure she knows it. Knows that the Syndicate and the job come second to her. That I will always choose her first.Choose us.

As we continue our staring contest, waiting to see who will flinch first, the bell on the front door chimes, and Raven, my sweet little sister, enters. Understandably shocked to see us all here in this position. She enters cautiously.

“Uh. Hey, guys. What are y’all doing here?”

No one answers her. What do we tell her? Should we tell her? She’s still young. No matter how much she understands about our world, she’s still only eighteen and the newest B.F.F. to Clover. The rest of us just look between one another, trying to decide what to say.

“Okay, fine, don’t tell me.” Looking around me, she searches the bar for something.

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