Page 31 of Clover

His hand reaches up and brushes away tears. I didn’t even know I was crying. I didn’t know he paid so much attention to me. He sees beyond the red hair and boobs. He can see me beneath the protective layer of sarcasm. Down to who I am inside. To someone I can’t even see all the time. His scowl has softened, and one side of his mouth tilts up.

“I may not know your favorite color or movie or candy, but Idoknow you, Clover Jones.” Running his hand down my throat and collarbone, he stops over my heart and flattens his hand on my chest. “In here.”

Holy shit.Phoenix Colton is a million times the man I ever thought he was before. This man standing in front of me is someone he, too, has been hiding from the world. Concealing with his own protective layer and armor. Shedding his own fears and insecurities to show me him. The vulnerable, loving man inside.

The emotions are too much, and my body feels like overcooked ramen, giving in and allowing myself to succumb to his pull. Snuggling against his chest and pressing my ear to his heart, listening to the erratic pounding beneath his pecs. The warmth and security of his arms wrapping around me reassuring me, telling me with every caress that he will always be here to protect me. The tightening of his muscles ensuring that he will never again let me go. I am his, and he is mine. In this emotionally filled silent embrace, we say everything and nothing. Releasing the tension racking both our bodies and souls. Promising without words that we’re safe and no one can come between us.

As gently as he had earlier tonight, he scoops me up and places me in the bed, crawling in beside me. Never once breaking our contact. Always keeping a hand or arm around me. Making sure I know he’s still here and probably reassuring himself that I’m real. Pulling me in close and wrapping me in his protective arms. Holding me to his chest. Before I can bury myself in his body, he reaches down and tilts my chin up to look at him. Placing his lips against mine, the soft, warm kiss tingles through my entire body. He lingers on my lips, angling his head to allow the kiss to deepen. He’s still soft and tender. Tasting my mouth with his sliding the tip of his tongue along the seam of my lips but not pressing in. Keeping our kiss laced with his obvious sexual desire but more with his desire to soothe the ache in my heart. Coating it with his affection. Delivered through expert soft caresses with his lips against mine.

When he releases me, I can tell he doesn’t want to. He wants to devour me and make me feel something other than the fear and pain. To feel pleasure and the ecstasy that is the physical god-like perfection of his body. But he restrains himself. Although I can still feel the steel rod in his boxer briefs pressing against my stomach. He does nothing more beyond the scorching kiss. Running his fingers through my hair and pressing my head down to lay once again in his arms.

It’s the first night in days I can sleep. Wrapped up in Nix. Safe in his embrace. Listening to the steady beating of his heart and feeling the rise and fall of his chest. The proof that he’s really here, I’m really here. I am safe with Nix.

***

The next day after many well-deserved hours of sleep, everyone who took part in my rescue has gathered in the C.C.S. offices. I’ve never been in these offices before. I knew they had them but never had a reason to visit. Not really the best circumstances to be here now, I guess.

I’m feeling a little better after sleeping and being held by Nix. His large hard, yet soft body was a solid reminder of my safety. The withdrawals still come and go. The shakes and sweats are minimal, but I’m getting itchy. That familiar need to get my next fix and slip back into la-la land, scratching at the back of my mind. I don’t know how other people manage recreational use only. Taking them just to enhance their party. Once it’s in my system, it becomes a part of me, and letting it slip away is like losing a vital organ I need, and I can’t let it go without tremendous pain. Maybe someday, but today fucking sucks.

At the office, I try to hide the twitches and itching with long sleeves and baggy clothes. Rosie and Lily are here. Rosie nearly takes me out with her hug when she sees me. I don’t hold back when I embrace her. A female touch is much easier to take at the moment than a male's. Except for Nix and Beau, I recoil from every man that gets near me. She’s soft and squishy and smells like frosting and sugar. Probably been indulging in sweets from the bakery. I don’t blame her. I stress eat too.

The entire time we’re in Griffon’s office, Rosie stays by my side, her hand firmly on mine as I sit in one of the seats in front of Griffon’s desk. It’s the only thing other than Nix’s presence keeping me sane. Lily keeping a quiet guard over us from Rosie’s other side. All the others are talking and some yelling. Explaining to Faust, Nix’s father, and my boss, and Griffon Nix’s older brother, everything that happened the night before at Braxton’s.

They also informed me that Braxton was absent when they made their way into his penthouse because he was at the hospital for testicular trauma. I told them that’s because I kneed him in the balls so hard he choked on them. That’sallthat I’ve told them, though. I still didn’t tell NixhowI got the cut from Braxton.

Griffon, a man I’d only met once, maybe twice before, briefly, sits in his massive leather desk chair behind an imposing thick metal desk and asks me questions.Who took me? Where did he take me? Were there any other people involved?I tell him everything they already suspected and apparently confirmed when they found me in Braxton’s secret safe house.

“There, it's confirmed. Braxton took her on purpose. He also hired Marco to kill us. Can I please go kill him now?” Nix bellows to his brother. A man who is as stoic as a British palace guard. Showing no emotions, no reaction,nothing. He’s kind of scary. I think seeing a man who has no emotions is worse than seeing someone like Braxton, who is unhinged with too many emotions.

“Technically, Braxton didn’t break any accords,” Griffon states flatly, unmoved by Nix’s plight.

“What? Are you fucking serious? Are you deaf, dumb, and blind? She just told you what he did, and you can see what he did to her face.AndI left Marco alive. He can confirm Braxton hiring him to take us out.” Nix is pissed at his brother, yelling and pacing, waving his hands wildly, and curling them into fists. I think he wants to hit Griffon but restrains himself.

“Yes, I can see that. It’s unfortunate what the girl had to go through, but there is no accord that says he can’t abduct and beat a girl. Or a Colton, for that matter. You know as well as I, as long as there’s no killing, all is fair game. As for the attempted assassination, we’ll have to look into that.” I can’t believe he just said all that with a straight face. And ‘the girl’really? He knows my fucking name, and we all know he knows it.

“Are you out of your goddamn fucking mind?!” Nix, on the other hand, is bursting with rage and bordering on unhinged.

“On the contrary. I’m far more composed and saner than you.” Reaching up, Griffon straightens his navy-blue tie that matches perfectly with the rest of his navy-blue three-piece suit. He may be unfeeling, but he definitely isn’t unfashionable. Nix stops pacing and slams his hands down on the desk, gripping the edge as if he might flip it over at any moment. It has to weigh over two hundred pounds, and right now, I believe he could do it.

“I’m sorry if I’m a little unstable right now. That may be because the psycho who hurt our sister, that you and I both beat the shit out of for, just abducted, beat, and did who knows what the fuck else to my girlfriend. So yeah. I’m a little insane right now.”

“Girlfriend? I wasn’t aware you two were dating.” I wasn’t either, but hearing Nix call me his girlfriend sends a whole hoard of hummingbirds through my chest.

“Well, we are.” Nix doesn’t waver or fault in his words. He means it. He may be fuming at his brother, but he turns his eyes to me to make sure it’s okay that he called me his girlfriend, and fuck yeah, it’s okay. It’s more than okay. The thought of being more to Nix than just a hook-up is stirring the electricity in my blood. So is Griffon, though, but for different reasons. He wants to let Braxton get away with what he did to me. He doesn’t want retribution or revenge. He wants to abide by the rules and leave him to do it again and again to other girls. Another girl who won’t have Phoenix Colton on her side hunting for her and killing for her. Standing up for her and never giving up until he finds her.

“Still, she’s not a Colton, and she’s obviously not dead.”

“She’s practically a Colton. We all accept her as family and treat her like a sister.” Rosie, my dear sweet, strong Rosie, speaks up next to me. Lily stepping closer in quiet support. I’ve been sitting in the leather seat, and she remains standing at my side, holding my hand the entire time. Rosie looks down at me, smiling sweetly. Lily, the one who is usually the extra sugar in your tea sweet, is not one granule of sugar at the moment. I’ve never seen her so serious before. Lips pursed into a straight line as she stares daggers at Griffon. Her body so still and calm, no flexing or twitching or nervous twiddling of her fingers. Nope, Lily is the epitome of calm and collected. The only evidence of any emotion the ice she’s shooting from her eyes like lasers into Griffon's black heart.

“Be that as it may, Rose, it’s not enough to warrant killing him. If we take out Braxton, we’ll have the whole fucking Shaw family after us. Then people really will die. Is that what you want, Rose? Do you want your sister to die because Nix’s little girlfriend got a little beat up?” Griffon may not be an emotional man, but he is practically yelling now but in a flat stern tone. Silencing Rosie, who never gets silenced by any man. I feel like I’m in the twilight zone, and I have to speak up for her, for myself. She wanted to protect me, and I want to tell Griffon exactly what he did because Braxton Shaw didn’t just‘beat me up.’

“He did more than beat me up.” I turn my glare on Griffon now. He may talk like I’m not here and not give a rat’s ass about me, but he will know the extent of Braxton’s behaviors he’s just nonchalantly brushing off.

“What?” Nix asks, turning to face me, releasing his death grip on Griffon’s desk. I ignore him. If I look at him, I won’t be able to say what needs to be said.

“He didn’t just beat me up and knock me around. He humiliated me, belittled me, and chained me to the wall like an animal. Calling me hispet.He cut me so I would have a permanent reminder of him. Of how he cuffed me, pumped me full of drugs that amplified everything. Then fucked me in the ass without my permission coating me in his disgusting cum. So I’ll always remember the smell and feel of him on my skin. Reminding me how weak and frail I am.” I leave out the part where my body turned against me and gave in to the feeling of pleasure. No one needs to know that. No one. As I speak, I stand, losing grip on Rosie’s hand, and walk closer to his desk, my spine straightening with every step I take. Forgetting the others in the room watching and listening. Laying my utter humiliation and defeat on his desk for him to see. As he watches me speak and the beginnings of tears welling in my eyes, he does nothing. His face does not contort in discomfort or empathy. He does not look away or lower his gaze from mine. No, he watches me and listens. Carefully.

“He told me that once he was done playing with me and had broken me, he was going to kill me. Cut me down to size and leave my pieces on Nix’s doorstep.—Does that sound like just giving me a good beating?”

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