Page 5 of Clover

“To find Braxton and tear out his spine.” And I mean it. I will rip him limb from limb in the state I’m in, and I’ll enjoy it.

“Maybe we should put a pin in that idea for a moment.”

“If you kill Braxton, we’ll never find Clover.” Rosie’s sweet voice reaches me through the fog in my brain. A fog that sank in the moment I found out Clover wasn’t at the bar and was left alone by my two idiotic cousins. The fog coats my insides, causing my body to shake with rage. A fog that blinds me to the concerned faces of my cousins and the constant flow of tears streaming down Rosie’s cheeks. Showing that they too care about Clover and want to find her. I had forgotten how close she and Rosie have gotten and how she treats Beau like a brother. All I can think of is he took her from me. Mine. My girl. My Clover. It never occurred to me that they could feel the same as I do.

“She’s right, Nix. We have no idea what happened. We can’t just go around killing people. Not yet, anyways. Trust me, I want to hurt whoever took her too. But if we just go around killing people, we won’t get anywhere.” Beau, my now dead-to-me best friend, hollers at me from a healthy distance away.That’s right, you better keep out of my reach, or I might finish what I started when I got here.This is his fault anyways. If he had just done as I said, none of this would have happened, and Clover would be safe in my arms right now.

“Watch me. I don’t care who he is. I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

“No, you aren’t, Nix. You’re going to sit your ass down, and we’re going to take a breath and figure this out.” My ex-best friend, Beau, continues.

“You’re lucky I don’t break your legs for leaving her here alone.”

Pointing my finger at him, I take a large step in his direction. To his credit, he doesn’t back away.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? Trust me, I hate myself just as much as you do right now for leaving her alone. I thought she would be okay until Rosie came to pick her up.”

“Well, she’s not okay now, is she?” I yell back at him. Advancing a few more paces in his direction. This time he does back away from me.Yeah, you better be afraid.

“We don’t know that yet. She could be just fine.” His voice has grown soft and – sad?

“You better hope she is, for your sake.”

“We all care about her too, Nix. You’re not the only one, ya know?” Raising his octave back to irritated as fuck at me as much as I am at him.

“Do you, Beau? Cause if you did, you would have been here to drive her to protect her.”

Our argument has reached a loud crescendo, echoing in the entryway. Beau no longer cowers away from me but has stepped into my personal space. Anger and hurt as prevalent in his features as I’m sure they are in my own. My hands are so tightly fisted, I can actually feel my knuckles whitening at the strain to try and turn them into blocks of concrete. My body shaking with barely controlled rage.

Before, I hadn’t really looked at Beau, but now face to face, really looking at him, I can see it. His pain and fear. He’s just as much a wreck as I am inside. I just can’t control what comes out of my mouth. Whereas he’s actually thinking and trying to be calm about this. While I’m over here spewing hate-vomit and blaming everyone. Everyone except the person who’s really responsible for this mess. Me. In all truth, I’m the one to blame, I’m the reason Braxton set his sights on Clover, and I’m the reason she’s gone now.

“Easy now, boys. We all just need to calm down and take a moment.”

Zander physically places himself between us. Hindering us from dismembering each other where we stand.

“No one is to blame. We’re all worried about Clover. So chill the fuck out, sit the fuck down, and let’s talk this through like adults. All right?” He asks me before turning to face Beau. “All right?”

Neither of us says a word, but we both grunt begrudgingly. He has a point. I may be pissed beyond belief at everyone at the moment for leaving her alone, but that’s not going to help find her right now.

“You guys are as bad as a couple of roided up jocks.” He mutters at us. Accepting our grunts as agreements, Zander backs off and makes his way into the kitchen, where we all follow and find seats at the dining room table or couches. Zander sits on the arm of the couch, obviously trying to decide what to do next. He tries, but he’s not the one we usually turn to for direction or ideas. The fact that he’s the sane one right now is not lost on me.

A pregnant silence falls as we return to a reasonable level of calm before speaking again. Which is a good thing because my patience, or lack thereof, has me on edge. I still want to strangle someone, but that someone being Braxton. Not my cousin.

“What do we do now? Do we call Uncle Faust?” Rosie asks, breaking the long silence.

“No. We’re going to handle this ourselves. We don’t need to bring Pop into this unless absolutely necessary.” It comes out more like a bark than anything else, and I don’t mean to do it intentionally.

The last thing I need is to get the whole family involved in my love life. A love life that none of them even know I have. Granted, I’m sure they would all be more than happy to assist in finding Clover as she has grown to become an integral part of our lives.

“We need to call Faust, Nix. Or at least Griffon. It’s the smartest move right now.” Beau leans his elbows on his knees, pleading with me. Eyes digging into my flesh compelling me to comply. Like I’m gonna listen to him right now.

“What? You don’t think I can do it on my own?”

“Oh, I’m sure you can. You can just do it a hell of a lot faster if you use every tool at your disposal. We are a family of highly connected criminals. With strings in many places, we could pull. Why wouldn’t we use that to our advantage to find Clover?”

He may be right. I could be acting alittleimpulsive at the moment. I know in reality that neither Griffon nor Pop would have any issues helping. Even though Griffon doesn’t know Clover very well, he knows me and knows Pop loves her. Mulling it over while grumbling to myself, eventually, I give in to Beau’s stubborn logic.

“Fine. Call Griffon and Pop only. I don’t want to drag the entire family into my problems.” Trying to avert my eyes from my cousins, I keep them downturned, watching my clenching hands in my lap.

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