Page 12 of Filthy and Fierce

He grunts. “Right… out of our systems.”

The longer I stand here, the more awkward it gets. I point my thumb over my shoulder. “I’m going to go help Carl do the feeding and watering and then go check fences.”

I wait for him to tell me no. He’s made sure to keep me away from Carl and Eddie since I got in town, so I’m waiting on him to give me some reason why I can’t help him.

When he nods his head, it’s like a kick in the gut. He really meant it when he said one night. I turn on my heel and amalmost out the door when Dixon stops me. I twirl so fast on my feet I almost stumble. He walks toward me. For just a second, I think he’s going to reach for me, but instead he crosses his arms over his chest. “You should probably take the side-by-side.”

I scrunch up my nose. “Why?”

His cheeks turn ruddy, and it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him embarrassed. He points to my lower body. “It’s just… it might… uh… hurt a little if you rode a horse.”

It’s my turn to be embarrassed, and I back out of the office. “Uh, right. Okay. I’ll take the side-by-side.”

I walk out of the barn and try to get my emotions together. I should not have gotten my hopes up, and now I’m going to have to figure out how to live and work here with Dixon. It’s going to be pure hell for me, and I’m not looking forward to it. Oh God, and when he meets someone… I let the thought simmer until the anxiety builds so much I have to remind myself to breathe and then count as I breathe in and out.

“Hey… you okay?” Carl asks.

I force a smile to my face. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I was actually coming to look for you. I was going to help you feed and check fences.”

He looks past me, and I turn to see what he’s looking at, but I don’t see anything or anyone.

Carl tucks his hands in his pockets. “Uh, does Dixon know about this?”

I nod. “Yeah, I just talked to him about it.”

He asks. “Yeah, and he was all right with it?”

I put a hand on my hip. “He’s not the boss of me, Carl. NowI’m going to check fences. If you’re going, fine. If not, I’ll see you when I get back.”

He throws his hands up and follows me toward the barn. “I’ll saddle Bessie for you.”

After my little speech, I don't want to be picky and tell him I’d prefer to take the side-by-side, so I grab a saddle off the wall while he gets Bessie out of the stall. We work together, saddling the horse.

As soon as it’s done, I put a foot in the stirrup and heft myself up onto Bessie’s back. I gently sit down and suck in a breath. Oh, hell no. It hurts so bad, and just when I think I’m going to get off the horse, Dixon comes out of the office at the other end of the barn.

Carl is stammering and stuttering, “She said you knew she was going with me.”

Dixon glares at him. “Yeah, I know, but remember what I said, Carl.”

He nods. “Yes, sir.”

Dixon gestures, pointing out of the barn. “Go wait outside for Faith. She’ll be out in a minute.”

Carl gives me a look of sympathy. He probably thinks I’m about to get in trouble or something. As soon as Carl leaves, Dixon stands in front of me, petting Bessie’s nose. “I thought I told you to take the side-by-side.”

I grit my teeth. I’m in a hell of a lot of pain, but I’ll never admit that to him. “Like I told Carl, you’re not the boss of me.”

He nods once, and I know he’s pissed by the way his nostrils flare. “So you’re going to go ride fences, hurting. And don’ttell me you’re not in pain because I can see it written all over your face.”

I look straight ahead. “It’s not your concern, Dixon, so can I go now?”

He doesn’t say anything, and I pick up the reins to go, but he stops me. “I didn’t mean to be rough with you, Faith.”

This time, it’s my turn to avoid his gaze. There’s no reason he needs to see that he’s breaking my heart. “I don’t need your apology, Dixon. Can I go now?”

He huffs out a breath. “Yeah, go ahead. Be safe. Wait,” he says before walking over the wall. He positions a rifle into the scabbard on my saddle. “Be safe.”

Maybe earlier or even yesterday I would be swooning that he’s worried about me and wants to protect me, but now I know he’s doing it because I’m my father’s daughter, and that’s it.

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