Page 102 of Begin Again

Cool and calm, Alex shuffled the papers on the table and stood. I marched to the door and held it wide open, as far as it went. He followed. Just before stepping across the threshold, he turned again toward me.

“Till next time,” he murmured.

I averted my eyes and felt bile rising up my throat.

When he was out, I slammed the door and locked it from the inside. Meanwhile, Kaden was standing stock still, as if frozen in place.

“He’s gone,” I whispered, placing my hand on his shoulder.

He winced and turned to me. He looked so angry that I took a step back. I opened my mouth but no sound came out.

Before I knew what had happened, Kaden had turned on his heel and had disappeared into his room. I shut my eyes as he slammed the door behind him.

Of course he needed a moment to himself. Though it was hard not to go after him and wrap my arms around him, just as he had done when we were in Lincoln. To keep myself busy, I returned to my room and proceeded to straighten up, clean my closet, and sort through my folders. When there was nothing more to do, I sat in the living room and waited. I didn’t want to give the impression that I couldn’t accept his wish to be alone. So I just kept waiting.

I watched one reality show after another, fiddled with my cell phone, and wondered whether I should call Spencer and ask him to come over. I rejected the idea.

When Kaden emerged from his room, he didn’t even look in my direction. Instead he headed straight for the door. I rose and followed him into the hallway.

“Are you okay? Where are you going?”

He slipped on his boots and ignored me, then stuffed his key into his back pocket.

“Kaden, where are you going?” I repeated in a brittle tone.

He whipped around to face me. “I don’t owe you an explanation, Allie.”

And then he left.

And he stayed away. Time seemed to drag. Every hour felt like several days.

It was unbearable.

I nearly called Spencer or even Monica to ask them where he might be. But I rejected the idea just as quickly—there was no way I wanted to be one of those crazy women who wouldn’t give their boyfriend any space. As agitated as Kaden was, I suspected he needed space more than ever. That was clear.

Did I even have a right to ask where he’d gone? We’d never discussed whether we were a couple. I’d never had a talk like that before and didn’t even know if couples did that sort of thing. With the way Kaden and I had been so intimate the last few days, it had felt pretty clear. For me, there was no one but Kaden. I thought he’d felt the same about me.

It didn’t matter anyway whether there was a label to describe what we were for each other. I was worried about him and was on the verge of tears.

When midnight came, I couldn’t hold out any longer. I wrote him a text message. No answer. So I spent the rest of the night on the couch, falling into an uneasy half-sleep and sitting up at the slightest noise.

But Kaden did not come home.

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