Page 111 of Begin Again

“It’s terrible. I mean it. But that doesn’t justify what he did to you, Allie,” Scott insisted.

“People make mistakes,” Monica said without looking at Scott. “I am convinced he regrets it. He’s doing really badly, Allie. He just sits at home and doesn’t talk to anyone but Spencer.”

“Not even me.”

“So what do you do, then?” Ethan asked, irritated.

Spencer shrugged. “Gambling.”

“That’s it?”

He shook his head. “If he doesn’t want to talk, I respect it. I guess he just needs time to digest everything.”

“We have to leave,” Scott reminded me. “Dawn’s getting out of class now.”

“Where are you going?” Monica asked. Her cheery tone sounded forced, but I appreciated her effort to lighten up the mood.

“Apartment visit number seven.”

Monica opened her mouth but Ethan beat her to it: “Are you really looking at apartments?”

“Maybe you should hold off a bit and see what—” Monica managed to begin.

“No,” I interrupted, trying to smile. My heart was being pulled this way and that. “Kaden means a lot to me, but apart from the fact that I can’t have my living situation dependent on someone who is so unreliable with his emotions. I’m done, Monica.”

I stood and tried to take deep, calm breaths.

One, two, three…

Inhale. Exhale. Breathe.

Everything in me cried out for Kaden. I wanted to see him, to take him in my arms and hear straight from him what his friends had just told me, but that was impossible. There was no way.

“Thank you for telling me.” As I left, I pressed my hand on Spencer’s shoulder and smiled at Ethan and Monica.

Spencer reached up for my hand and squeezed it. “Let me know if you need help with your move. That’s the least I can do.”

“Thanks, Spencer.”

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