Page 35 of Begin Again

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Suddenly I felt a strange emptiness in my belly. Kaden scooped out a piece of the pizza and slid it onto a plate, which he held out to me expectantly.

And then the most embarrassing thing happened.

I started to sob.

“Not again,” groaned Kaden setting down the plate with a clang on the countertop. “I was joking about the anchovies. Rule one, dammit!”

For a moment I stared at him, frozen. Then I turned on my heel and fled to my room, shutting the door so I could let the tears flow.

“Allie,” Dawn called out and leapt off the bed. “What happened?”

I remained standing with my head against the door, trying to catch my breath.

“Kaden brought pizza,” I said in a trembling voice.

Dawn blinked at me, perplexed. “That asshole. What was he thinking?”

I laughed and wiped the corners of my eyes. Then I sank into my sofa bed with a sigh. “That’s not what I mean.”

“So what is it? I want to hate him but at the moment it’s not easy,” Dawn said, leaning against the wall. “‘Cause I can smell the pizza, and it’s making me hungry.”

I looked up, as the burning in my eyes began to fade. “We never ordered pizza at home.”

Dawn’s eyes grew round. “What?”

“We never ate fast food. My mother was so obsessed with detox and dieting, that she counted calories constantly. She didn’t want me to gain weight and made up a nutrition plan for me every week, including a strict exercise program.” I shrugged. “The only pizza I ever ate was in Rome during a family vacation.”

Actually, that was only part of why I was upset. I was still unsettled over my mother’s attempt to phone me. When Kaden had held out the pizza to me just now, I heard her voice in my ear again, warning me about calories and accusing me of letting myself go. I hated that she was still so present in my life.

Dawn’s eyes told me she was trying to grasp this.

“Allie, you can’t be serious!” she erupted in anger.

I took a deep breath. “You don’t know Sharon Harper, Dawn. She is a dictator. Even now she’d like to be controlling my entire life. My college courses, my friends, my eating habits.”

Dawn shook her head in disbelief and walked over to me. “Allie Harper,” she began, dead serious. “We’re going out there right now and you’re going to scarf down this pizza. If you have to moan before you enjoy, that’s fine. If you have to cry, super!” She bent down toward me and looked me in the eyes. “You are free, Allie. You’re in charge. Got it?”

Tears rose in my eyes again. I blinked them away and swallowed down the lump in my throat. “Okay.”

“Great! Now let’s go,” Dawn said, opening the door and leaving the room without checking to see if I followed.

“This is Allie’s first take-out pizza!” announced Dawn.

I rolled my eyes. Good, now everyone knew.

I ventured into the living room, and was relieved to find that the others didn’t seem to notice me. Either they didn’t know I’d fled the room, or they were tactful enough not to speak.

“Go for it, people,” Spencer said, his mouth already full.

I sat next to Dawn on the floor and took the napkin that she held out. Grateful, I smiled up at her. Music was playing in the background. I took the slice of pizza that Kaden had selected for me and fought for a moment with the dangling threads of cheese. I felt Dawn’s eyes on me as I took the first bite.

I chewed carefully. It was delicious. The combination of sauce, cheese, pepperoni, and anchovies. Yes, anchovies. I took another bite and moaned with pleasure.

Dawn laughed, and even Kaden let out a chuckle.

“I think you chose well,” Spencer said. Kaden just shrugged his shoulders and took another bite.

“I can’t imagine life without pizza anymore,” I sighed after a while, and everyone laughed.

---