Page 56 of Begin Again

His fingers pushed up under my shirt. Then he pressed his hips against mine. And what I felt there ripped me out of my feverish dream state.

Hallelujah.

I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him back. Panting, he looked down at me. His eyes were shining.

“What are we doing?” I whispered, shaken.

Kaden reached over me and leaned with his arm against the wall. His other hand was still supporting my back. It seemed like he didn’t want to let go.

“I thought you wanted to distract me,” he said, his voice rough.

His words felt like a bucket of ice-cold water in my face.

“No.” I wriggled free and slipped past him into the living room.

“What do you mean, no?” Kaden asked, right behind me. He tried to hold me but I tore my arm away.

“No!” I shouted and turned around.

Kaden looked confused. He blinked several times. “But you were the one who asked me to dance!”

Stunned, I shook my head. “But I didn’t want to get you in bed! I wanted to distract you.”

“Oh, really?” he demanded. He stepped toward me.

I backed away. I knew I would lose all self-control if he touched me again as he had.

“Kaden,” I said in an anxious quiet tone.

He raised an eyebrow and took another step toward me. “Allie.”

I shook my head and held him back with a hand on his chest.

“It’s not going to happen. Not this way, under these conditions.”

Kaden stared at my hand, which still lay over his pounding heart, as if he had only just understood the situation we were in and what we had almost done.

I decided the best thing for me to do was go to my room. But before I could step back, he placed his hand over mine and pressed it against his chest. He lowered his head, and for a moment I was afraid he’d kiss me again. But he didn’t. Instead, he placed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. We stayed in this position, and I felt his heartbeat return to normal.

“I’m going to sleep now,” I murmured.

Kaden stepped back and released my hand. He looked at me with an expression I couldn’t quite define—sad and wistful at the same time.

In the end, this had all been meant as a distraction for him. It was oh-so-familiar to me. Three years ago I’d done the exact same thing night after night. It meant nothing.

“Good night, Allie.” Kaden’s voice sounded throaty.

“Good night, Kaden.”

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