Page 77 of Begin Again

Kaden had placed the dishes from the cart on the round table by the window and was pouring wine in our glasses. When saw me, he lifted the bottle high. “I thought it would be nervy of us to put this on your mom’s bill.”

I smiled. “That sounds marvelous.”

“I’m glad you like my plan. Come.” He nodded toward the empty chair at the table, and I crossed the room in a few steps to sit across from him.

Amused, I looked at the feast awaiting us. There was fried meat, rice, a selection of stewed vegetables and even cheesecake with blueberry topping.

“Your stomach was talking in your sleep, so I decided to call room service,” Kaden explained, raising his glass of wine.

I did the same. His expression was mysterious. True, he was grinning, but there was also something melancholy, pensive, in his eyes.

“Why did you come here, Kaden?” The question had burst out. But I also didn’t want to destroy the moment.

Kaden’s expression didn’t change; he kept looking at me. “You needed me. So I came. That’s what friends are for, right?”

Of course. I lowered my eyes and looked at the food. I couldn’t avoid thinking about everything we’d shared in the short time we’d known each other. For sure we were more than just friends. Kaden had to know this, too. But…

“Allie,” he interrupted my thoughts and leaned over the table. “We have so much other stuff to deal with. That has to come first, don’t you think?”

He was right. Of course he was right. So I nodded and forced a smile. Kaden beamed back at me and raised his glass again. “I think we should toast to… freedom.”

We clinked our wine glasses together. “I’m always game for some freedom.”

We drank and then set in on the food. I ate myself silly, until I couldn’t think about anything except the fullness in my belly. After drinking the last drops of wine, we called room service to remove the cart.

“I’ll never be hungry again,” I murmured, cradling my round tummy.

Kaden got up and walked over to the French windows that opened out to a balcony. He unlatched the door and stepped out, only to return a second later and grab one of the oversized blankets from the bed. He looked at me over his shoulder and with his chin beckoned me to follow.

By now it had grown dark and cooled off quite a bit. I wrapped my arms around my body and looked at our surroundings. The view wasn’t so special—just houses, streets and an industrial zone in the distance.

“I understand why you don’t like it here that much,” said Kaden after a few minutes.

He spread the blanket on the small bench at the balustrade, and sat down.

“I used to love Lincoln, or at least the suburb where we lived. But the older I got… the worse things got for me here. And the unhappier I felt.” I sat next to him and pulled up my knees. Kaden draped the rest of the blanket over my shoulders and I smiled at him. “Maybe I would have liked this place if my childhood had been different. Or if I’d gotten along better with my parents. I don’t know.”

“I can’t imagine how that must have been for you, Bubbles,” he murmured. “You don’t fit here.” He hesitated and swallowed a few times. The silence was tense, and I had the feeling that he was about to share something. “But I do know how it feels to be misunderstood. What it does to you when you don’t feel connected with your family at all.”

“Are you talking about your father?” I ventured. At the same time, I relaxed a bit: Listening to Kaden would be a lot easier for me than talking about my own problems.

Kaden nodded, his gaze fixed on a distant point. “He always got along better with my brother. After the divorce, Alex spent more time with him, and I spent more time with our mom. You’ve seen it—I couldn’t imagine a better home. Dad on the other hand is a typical businessman… Always thinking about a profit and pretty cold, emotionally. He and your parents would probably get along great. Everything is about the company. All he ever wanted was to turn Alex and me into perfect businessmen. At first it seemed like he was obsessed with both of us following in his footsteps. After the divorce it got worse, which made me withdraw from him even more. And at some point our family had split up without my realizing it.” He breathed out. “I just didn’t have anything to say to my father. And then when I found out the real reason for the divorce… ”

He stopped. Since our arms were touching, I could feel how his muscles tensed as he curled his hands into fists. For a few minutes he didn’t speak. I waited.

“He had an affair,” Kaden blurted out. “He left Mom for his secretary. I nearly hit him when he told us.”

“But that’s not you,” I whispered.

He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. “If Alex hadn’t held me back, I might have even done worse than that.”

I couldn’t help myself—I placed my hand on his knee. He looked at me with such pain and sadness in his eyes.

“Only Mom and… and my ex kept me from becoming bitter,” Kaden said.

He’d never mentioned his ex before.

“Which didn’t totally work,” I joked, and Kaden forced a smile that didn’t fool me for a second.

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