Page 83 of Begin Again

I took a deep breath. I knew I couldn’t hide myself from him much longer. I forced out a laugh. It sounded fake, so I tried again. This time it sounded better. That’s to the only way I could face Kaden. But would he accept it? How else could I deal with this situation? He should never have seen me in this state.

Carefully, I entered the bedroom. He was sitting on the bed, his head buried in both hands. When he heard me, he looked up. He looked more than merely worried.

I smiled.

“Cut it out,” he demanded.

My smile slipped just a little. “What do you mean?” I went over to my bag and took a bit of time to put my clothes inside.

“Allie, cut the shit.”

I continued to rummage through my bag. “It’s okay, Kaden. I was just overwhelmed.”

He leapt up and strode toward me, grabbing me by the shoulders and whirling me around. I opened my mouth to protest—but then saw how angry he looked.

“You are going to tell me what that was all about. Now.” he said through clenched teeth.

“Let me go.”

“No.”

“Kaden, let go of me now,” I hissed and tried to push him off with both my hands.

“No,” he repeated, and this time his voice was low. “You are not going to shut down now. Not after these last few months, not after I’ve introduced you to my mom, not after last night, and definitely not after tonight.” He pulled me close. “Do you understand me?”

Of course I did. But Kaden had no idea what he was asking of me. It wouldn’t happen, and the sooner he accepted it, the better. Shaking my head, I tried again to free myself from his grasp.

But he just held on tighter.

“My God, what do you want from me?” I cried, pushing with both hands against his chest.

“The truth,” Kaden whispered. “I want to know what this fucker did to you,” his voice grew louder. “What happened between you? Why can’t you be in the same room with him without losing it? I want to know-”

“Stop,” I interrupted him. My pulse was racing so fast, I felt dizzy.

“No way. I was there when he greeted you. I had to hold myself back from punching him in the face. The way he looked at you was—”

“Shut up,” I pleaded and covered my ears with my hands.

“What did he do to you?” Kaden’s voice was barely a whisper. He held me tight, but now he was running his thumbs over my naked arms. “Tell me, Allie.”

I could feel the walls collapse around me. The memories wouldn’t stay under cover any more, no matter how hard I tried to push them back. They poured over me like a torrent, one after the other, and I sobbed. My knees buckled, but Kaden was there and held me tight. He slid down to the floor with me. Hot tears ran down my cheeks, and I clung to him as the pictures from the past, so long repressed, came back—and with them the feelings of panic, fear, helplessness. The loneliness.

I cried and cried and cried.

Kaden stroked my hair, murmured gentle, soothing words into my ear, and held me so tightly that it felt like he wanted to keep me together with all his strength.

At some point the tears dried up. I lay curled up between Kaden’s legs, my knees drawn up and my head against his chest. His steady breath and strong arms around my trembling body gave me something I’d never known before—a feeling of absolute stability.

And then I started to talk.

“It all started just after I turned sixteen,” I murmured into his shirt, which was damp from my tears. “Anderson was one of Dad’s new business partners and spent a lot of time with us, because my parents got along well with him. He invested millions in our company. And at first I didn’t mind him. He’d helped my father out, my mother was happy, and that was all good for me.”

As if to encourage me, Kaden stroked my back with his hand. I took a deep breath and continued.

“When it first started, I didn’t even notice what he was doing—like how he would touch me when he passed by, how he got closer to me than he should have. I thought I was just imagining it. And at first it was harmless. But then he started getting… more persistent.”

I swallowed hard.

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