Page 86 of Begin Again

“Oh, Kaden. She’s not Kendra, sweetie.”

“Let it go, Mom.”

His words punched me in the gut. I couldn’t muffle my gasp, and their voices fell silent. Quickly I leaned down and slipped on my boots. Kaden and Rachel came out of the kitchen into the hallway. I looked up and managed a small smile.

Kaden hugged his mother goodbye, and I did the same, thanking her once more before getting into the Jeep like a robot. I waved while Kaden steered the car out of the driveway.

For the entire trip, I pretended to be in a deep sleep.

While Kaden parked the car, I acted as if I were just waking up. We went upstairs in silence, and as he opened the door to our apartment, a feeling of joy spread through me, despite the throbbing pain in my heart. I was so happy to be back home. Here, everything felt right. As if I belonged right here. In this one place.

“Do you want to take a shower? Otherwise I’ll go first,” Kaden said, setting down his bag in the hall. He pulled his shoes off and held out his hand for my jacket. I pretended not to have seen his silent gesture.

“You go first,” I said and walked past him to my room, closing the door behind me and dropping my bag on the floor. A moment later, I heard the sound of the shower running.

I unpacked my things in slow motion, throwing the dirty laundry in the basket and starting to clean up my room, trying to keep busy with anything, simply anything.

The last few days had been an emotional roller coaster, and I had to be grateful to Kaden, and him alone, that I hadn’t fallen apart. He had come to me when I needed him most. He had listened to me and held me. I thought he wanted me to open up, to trust him with my story. I thought he’d felt the same for me as I did for him. I was wrong.

So what was it that turned Kaden off the most? Was it everything that Anderson had done to me? My blind obedience to my mother and never pressing charges? Or was it my breakdown from last night?

It didn’t help to worry about it.

Kaden didn’t want me. That was clear.

It was my own fault. After all, I knew from day one that Kaden wasn’t looking for a relationship. And until a few days ago I was convinced that we had to end whatever was happening between us, before we went too far and lost control. But I shouldn’t have worried—it was never part of Kaden’s plan to go any further.

Still, it felt like cold claws were closing around my heart.

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