Page 46 of Trust Again

“Exactly! Very good, Dawn.” Nolan clapped his hands and then tossed his hair back from his face.

We spoke a while about descriptions, the difference between persons and objects, and before I knew it my third session of the writing workshop was over.

“Dawn, I’d like to speak with you a minute,” Nolan said, as we all stood and picked up his blankets from the floor.

I broke out into a cold sweat and my heart started to skip beats. What if he hated what I’ve written? I tried to calm down, but even the breathing exercises I’d practiced for my presentations didn’t help.

Gradually the others left the room and I went up to the lectern, clutching the straps of my backpack.

“Yes, Professor Gates?”

“Nolan,” he corrected me again, automatically, while grabbing a few papers from the pile on the lectern. “I read the assignments you completed. They are really good. You have a very nice, picturesque writing style. I was especially moved by your piece on the theme of betrayal.”

My heartbeat pounded in my ears and all I wanted to do was sit down so my shaky knees wouldn’t betray me. “You really mean it?”

Nolan placed the papers on his desk and leaned back with his arms crossed. “Of course I mean it. You’ve done a great job and deserve recognition for it. Any idea what you want to do after graduation?”

A bit embarrassed, I picked at my fingernails.

“All I want to do is write. Every day. And be able to earn a living from it,” I said. It was the first time I’d said it aloud. Feigning a casual attitude, I shrugged. “But I know it’s a common dream and nearly impossible to achieve…”

“Stop putting down your own dreams,” he interrupted me gently but firmly. “So you want to support yourself as a writer. Do you already know what you want to write? Prose? Literature for teens? For adults?”

Since I certainly couldn’t tell him that I already had published my own erotic stories, I thought over my answer a bit and looked down at my shoes.

“I’m looking forward to reading more of your work, Dawn. I’ve made a few notes in the margins that might help with the next assignments. Even though I was really impressed with your work already,” Nolan said, handing the pile of papers to me. “Keep it up.”

“That’s amazing!” Allie said, grasping both my hands. “So something good came out of the craziness with Professor Walden after all.”

It was the evening of Allie’s surprise party and my job was to distract her until it was time. Kaden and I had planned it all out: As soon as everything was ready he would send a text message to her saying that something was wrong with Spidey, and that we should come over and help him bring the cat to the vet. Not a very nice cover story, but at least it would keep her mind off any possible surprises.

“I’ve never gotten so much praise from a professor,” I told Allie, as she made herself comfortable on my bed.

“I’m sure you do great work and I’m so glad he recognizes it. You deserve it,” she said as if it were obvious. I was stunned.

Would she think the same if she knew what kind of stories I was writing to pay my rent?

We spent the next few hours giving ourselves spa treatments. I curled her hair, and we did facials using yogurt masks. Then we put on makeup, trying out some of Allie’s new products.

Just as I was about to play some feel-good music on my computer, an email alert popped up, announcing a new message. Glancing at the subject, I saw that it was a new review ofHot for You. My euphoric mood evaporated the moment I saw the headline.

Cheap, cheaper, cheapest, D. Lily

I swallowed hard. Even though I knew it was a bad idea to keep reading, I couldn’t help myself. The words scrolled before my eyes and a dull ache started in the center of my chest.

I don’t usually write reviews but this time it feels necessary. The terrible writing compels me to protect readers from wasting their money on this book.

It’s fascinating how suddenly every bored housewife seems to think she has to write trashy bodice-rippers. D. Lily’s style leaves a lot to be desired and the characters are clichéd. The sex scenes are cheap and dull, and anatomically speaking, they’re impossible. Thank God this trash is not available in paperback—it would, however, make good kindling.

“Dawny? Everything okay?” Allie asked, sitting upright.

I bit my cheek. “Yeah. Everything’s fine.”

This was Allie’s night and I had to focus on that, not on the flood of harsh criticism sitting in my email. Man did that hurt! Especially since I’d put so much time and effort into my writing. Maybe it was for the best, spending this evening with friends. I was looking forward to the surprise party.

“I just accidentally deleted my playlist,” I said and pointed to Watson.

“Aha.” Allie didn’t seem totally convinced. Luckily, at that moment her phone buzzed. She dug it out of her bag and checked the message. It was awful to watch the color drain from her face, and I wished I could just tell her the truth right now. But Kaden and Spencer had sworn me to secrecy.

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