Page 50 of Trust Again

We looked at each other for a moment and slowly my breathing steadied.

“Who made you feel like you should be ashamed of your work?” Spencer asked suddenly.

“Everyone has things they don’t want to talk about. And you know that better than anyone,” I snapped.

He blinked while my words sank in. “Okay, I deserved that,” he murmured and rubbed the back of his neck.

We said nothing for a while.

How had he managed to banish one of my biggest fears with just one sentence? And why did he have to make it so hard for me to resist him?

“Hey, it’s almost midnight, almost Allie’s birthday,” I said and slipped past him, into the living room. I needed to escape the end of a conversation that now seemed inevitable. Because if I didn’t? I was going to wrap my arms around him and hold him so tight we’d both gasp for air.

“Ten, nine, eight, seven, six…”

Allie jumped up and down and grabbed my arm so hard, it almost hurt. But I smiled anyway. Her happiness was contagious and I let myself catch it, hoping it would distract me from everything else.

“… Five, four, three, three, two, one… Happy birthday!”

Cheers and applause followed as I hugged my friend. I gave her a big hug before everyone surrounded her and made their little speeches. It took a long time for everyone to speak. Finally, Monica handed Allie the envelope with the card from Coos Bay. We watched nervously as she opened it and read the contents. Her eyes grew wider; when she looked up at us all, they were sparkling.

“We’re going to the coast?”

“Yup,” Monica said. “Next weekend, if you can…”

Allie practically crushed Monica in an enormous hug. She then embraced each of us in turn, until she ended up in Kaden’s arms for what felt like a good half hour. Only afterward did she open her other gifts.

But I needed to get out of there. It was simply too hard for me to be in the same room as Spencer.

My fears were shouting at me to run. I wanted him but couldn’t have him. The fact that he was one of my best friends made the situation worse. I knew he had his own problems and I wanted to know them all, but at the same time I feared what would happen if I did. What if… what if my feelings for him got even stronger? Forget it. Even the thought of it scared the hell out of me. I already knew how I’d feel if we lost what we had.

I needed quiet. Trying to be unobtrusive, I grabbed my jacket and slipped out to the hallway, climbed the stairs, and pushed against the heavy door to the roof.

The cool air felt good. For a second I closed my eyes. Then I walked across the dark roof, the gritty surface glittering in the pale light of the lamp above the metal door.

Lost in thought, I sat down on the low wall that ran along the perimeter of the roof. The music from the party below rose up to surround me.

It was getting colder. But I couldn’t bring myself to go back down.

The metal door creaked. I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. His footsteps approached slowly and stopped just behind me. “Please don’t jump.”

“I wasn’t planning to.”

“Sorry if I upset you. It’s the last thing I wanted to do,” Spencer said softly.

I grumbled.

“We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”

I grumbled again. It was the best I could do.

“Dawn?”

“Uh-huh?”

“Turn around so I can look in your eyes and really be sure you’re okay,” he asked, in a tone that made me shiver.

I lifted my legs from the wall and turned carefully toward Spencer. He’d been holding his breath and now let it out. He dropped low, squatting to look up at me through his thick, dark eyelashes. His gaze held me captive.

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