Page 94 of Trust Again

“Spencer, I behaved like an idiot. Please forgive me.” My words tasted stale and I could see they hadn’t reached him.

Again I tried to touch his arm, but this time he blocked my hand with his. “Stop, please.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” I whispered.

He jutted his chin out and the anger in his eyes caught me totally by surprise. “You can’t possibly mean that seriously.”

My heart rose to my throat. “What?”

A bitter laugh escaped him. “You didn’t want to hurt me… Dawn, you’ve been ripping my heart out for months.”

It felt like a pile of stones was in my stomach.

“Don’t act so surprised,” he said flatly. “Every time you push me away. Every time you let me get close to you and then you shut down again. Every time I’m so happy that I feel like bursting, and then you leave. You hurt me every damn day, Dawn. And I… I can’t do this anymore.”

Something tugged hard inside my chest. The pounding in my head had returned. “Spence, I was drunk. I was angry, and Nate had just…”

“Just because Nate was an asshole to you doesn’t give you the right to treat me the same way.” He shook his head. “For someone who is so afraid of being hurt, you’re pretty damn good at hurting others.”

My cheeks were hot and my eyes were burning. “I’m sorry.”

He nodded and looked down. I realized that no words from me would make up for my behavior.

“I made… a gift for Olivia,” I finally said, and felt like a fool.

Spencer glanced at the package that I’d wrapped. Aside from the scrapbook, I’d put in some chocolate and a gift certificate for Barnes & Noble, because he’d told me how much she liked to read.

Spencer stared at the package before silently taking it from me.

“I want to show you something,” he said abruptly. He crossed the kitchen with long strides, and headed upstairs.

It was impossible to keep up with him; he was already in his room. My heart hurt. The uncertainty about where this conversation was going was going to kill me.

I went into Spencer’s room and saw that he’d stopped in front of his desk. Standing in the middle of it was the sculpture.

It took my breath away.

There was one large, massive shape with strong arms and broad shoulders. And in front of it a smaller shape with more delicate arms. They fit together like two parts of a puzzle.

I swallowed hard and looked up at Spencer.

“I made them for you. Actually, I wanted to paint them together with you, because I thought that something changed between us the other night,” he said.

My throat tightened. Of course something had changed between us. In fact, everything had changed. I couldn’t bear the distance between us for one second longer. Rushing forward, I flung my arms around him. I pulled him close, grabbed his shoulders and held him tightly.

He stiffened. A moment later, he removed my arms from around him.

“Be angry at me. Yell at me. Tell me I was acting like an idiot, and fight with me. But don’t push me away. Please,” I said breathlessly.

He shook his head. “I’m not angry, Dawn. I just think this is the universe punishing me for my mistake. That the girl I’m head over heels in love with wants to vomit the moment I show her my feelings.”

The fog in my head started to lift.

Why do you want to make it so hard for me to love you?

He’d told me he loved me. We hadn’t merely fought—he had laid everything out for me and I had walked all over it like it meant nothing.

“Spence…” I struggled for words but none came.

---