Page 52 of Save Me

She’s wearing her uniform even though most people come to watch our games in their own clothes or sports kit. She’s got a tripod in one hand and a notebook in the other, and on her back, she has that same tatty backpack that always looks like it’s about to fall apart. It’s almost exactly the color of puke but makes her look kind of cute all the same. Like a Ninja Turtle. A Ninja Turtle with messed-up hair and a bright red face.

I take my time strolling over to them, watching her set up the tripod and an expensive-looking camera.

“Can I help?” I ask.

Ruby whirls round and stares at me, wide-eyed. Clearly, she still hasn’t got used to my efforts to be friendly. I spent the week saying hello when I bumped into her, and she jumped every time, like she just doesn’t expect anyone to speak to her outside lessons.

“Have we missed anything?” she asks frantically. Her eyes dart over the field and then back to Mr. Freeman. But he’s so deep in the game that he hasn’t even noticed that Ruby and Lin are late.

“Ridgeview scored. Right at the whistle,” I say.

Ruby nods and scribbles something in her pad. “Great, thanks.”

Meanwhile, Lin is getting the camera set up and checking the settings before she starts taking photos.

After that, they’re both engrossed in documenting the match.

I realize that I would much rather watch Ruby than my team. The sight of her is way less painful. We regained the lead ages ago, and we’re now thumping Ridgeview, but I can’t feel as happy as I should. Cree sets up two goals, and in the second half, he scores himself, which makes it crystal clear that the lads don’t even need me. I’d rather be anywhere but here, so I don’t know why I’m hanging around.

Even so, I stand stony-faced at the edge of the field, letting the game pass me by, clapping when anyone scores, swearing when the other side gets one over on us, while answering all of Ruby and Lin’s questions.

After the ninety minutes, I don’t feel like we’ve conquered the world, as I usually do after a win. I’m knackered and can’t stand it here a second longer. The idea of spending tonight at Cyril’s party amid all the sympathy of everyone who saw me standing here onthe edge of the pitch today makes me ill. I turn away without a word before the teams leave the field and run back toward the school. I pull out my phone and get Percy on speed dial to come and pick me up.

“James!”

I glance back over my shoulder.

Ruby is running after me. Her fringe and the wind are not best friends; some of it is sticking straight up in the air. She sees my look and flattens it down against her forehead again. It’s one of her quirks that I’ve really noticed in the last few weeks. Now I know about the little comb she carries around in her pencil case, which she uses when she doesn’t think anyone’s looking.

“What’s up?” I ask.

“Are you OK?”

Why is she asking? Nobody asks me stuff like that—because absolutely nobody cares how I am. And even if that isn’t true, most of them have too much respect for me, or are too scared of me, to ask that question.

“It can’t be nice to watch the others play, right?” she asks gently.

“Nope.”

She shifts her weight from one foot to the other. “Would you rather be alone?”

Uncertainly, I rub the back of my neck and shrug. Thank God for Alistair, who saves me from having to answer. He jogs, red-faced, over the grass and stops in front of us.

“Beaufort! Whither goest thou, my friend?”

OK, that’s an even fucking stupider question than Ruby’s. “Home.”

“Uh, it’s Cy’s party. Forgotten?”

No, I hadn’t forgotten, but Cyril’s party is the last thing I’m inthe mood for. Not that I can say so to Alistair. The team won, and I’m still co-captain, even if I’m currently suspended. It wouldn’t be fair to duck the celebrations with the lads. Not to mention the fact that I can’t face the questions that would definitely be asked if I didn’t show.

“Sure, I’ll be there.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ruby’s expression change. I avoid looking directly at her.

“Don’t look like that, mate. It’s going to be amazing. We’ll have the house to ourselves.”

I just growl.

“Hey, why don’t you come too, Ruby?” I give Alistair a warning look, but he just grins and looks at us both in turn.

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