Page 58 of Save Me

“Don’t stop,” says Alistair, letting his head drop forward.

The guy kneeling in front of him gets up. “Only if you ask nicely.”

Alistair pulls him down by the hair to kiss him. The guy leans against the bookcase, one hand on either side of Alistair’s head, and kisses him back. Then I recognize who it is.

Keshav.

I gasp while Keshav’s mouth roams from Alistair’s face down to his throat.

At that moment, Alistair spots me in the doorway.

“Kesh, stop,” he whispers in a panic, pushing his friend away violently.

I turn on my heel and flee out of the library back into the corridor. I look around in a panic and decide to run back to the main room. I squeeze past dancing people, their faces blurred before my eyes, searching the room for James.

I see him with his sister, Cyril, and Wren by the pool. They’re talking about something, and Wren’s making wild arm gestures.

I need a moment to get my head together.

Why the hell do I have to keep catching people in the act when they definitely don’t want an audience? Since when have I been collecting strangers’ secrets? This isnotnormal.

It’s a big effort to breathe and to calm down slightly. I decide that I have to take back my decision from a moment ago. I can’t have fun here, and I’ll never get used to these people.

I want to go to James and ask him to take me home, but he’s so close to the pool that it makes me hesitate a moment. The sight of the water makes me feel sick. In the end, I pluck up all my courage and cautiously enter the conservatory. I stand by the wall, a few feet from the group.

Wren is the first to spot me. “There she is.”

I nod curtly to him and almost sigh with relief as James crosses the two steps that separate us. I’d never have imagined he’d ever be the person I felt safest with at a party, but that’s how it is today. He’s become my anchor, and I have to stop myself from grabbing his hand.

“You OK?” James asks. He’s got another glass in his hand, containing another brown drink. His cheeks are slightly flushed now.

“I’d like to go home soon,” I whisper, still out of breath.

James frowns but nods instantly. Apparently, he can see that I’m on the verge of freaking out. He drains his glass and puts it down on the nearest table. “No worries.”

“Hey, since when have you left my parties before four, man?” Cyril sounds offended.

“Since I’ve had someone I need to take home,” James replies, looking blankly at his friend. It’s back, that impenetrable, arrogant wall.

“Come on, Ruby. Don’t be a spoilsport and take our buddy away,” Wren says, crouching down to splash me with water from the pool. A few drops land on my throat, and it feels like all the air’s been crushed from my lungs.

“Stop it,” I squeal, hardly recognizing my own voice, it sounds so shrill.

“Are you going to dissolve?” Cyril laughs. He’s topless now, wearing black swimming shorts. His hair is still wet. He comes a step closer. I flinch back and grip onto James’s arm. I don’t care what the others think.

“C’mon, Cy, leave her alone,” James says, but not even his air of authority is any good now. Cyril is grinning like a predatory animal. The next moment, he leaps, grabs my bag, and hands it to a grinning Lydia.

“Cyril, don’t you dare—” I gasp—but it’s too late. He wraps me in an embrace that’s anything but loving and pulls me with him into the pool. I scream as I hit the water with full force and thrash my arms and legs in panic.

Then we go under, and my heart stops beating for a second. Suddenly, I’m no longer in the Vegas’ house, I’m in a murky, yellowish-green sea. I’m no longer seventeen, I’m eight. And I can’t remember how to swim. I’m at the mercy of the bitterly cold water.

I can’t breathe.

The seaweed is pulling me down, and I can’t move. My arms won’t work, my legs are out of action. I have no control over my body.

The pressure on my chest is overwhelming. And then I have no choice but to breathe in the water.

17

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