Page 74 of Save Me

Suddenly, James lowers his head until his mouth is close to my ear. “Relax,” he whispers.

Easier said than done. But I try. I try to ease the tension in my arms and not to focus so desperately on getting the steps right. I let myself fall—the way I imagined it the first time we tried on these costumes.

James catches me. He leads me gently over the floor, and I feel as if I’m floating. I wonder if I’ll ever get the chance to dance like this again. What would happen if I told him that, as of now, he’s not forced to take part in our meetings?

I don’t want to, but I suddenly feel a weight on my chest. I try to ignore it, but it gets more crushing every time I think about what will happen between James and me after tonight.

“What’s wrong?” he asks suddenly, narrowing his eyes as he checks out my face.

“I have to tell you something.”

James’s turquoise eyes are on me, expectant and patient, although there’s a spark of suspicion in them too.

“I thought about what you told me on my birthday. That you only have one year of school left and then…” I clear my throat, feeling James suddenly tense. “Well, anyway, I spoke to Lexie. He thinks it’s about time you got back to training.”

His movements catch for a second, then he dances on as if he’s learned the choreography by heart.

“What?” he croaks. His voice is hoarse. That’s always what gives him away. His eyes stay hard, he stands up straight, moves confidently—but his voice doesn’t play along. You can always tell if something has got to James. Like now.

“I think you’ve done a great job on the team. Lexie can definitely reward that.” I’m trying to keep my voice calm, to relax the atmosphere between us, but the opposite happens. James’s eyes darken, and the next moment he holds me tight—closer than would have been acceptable in Victorian times. But the dance floor is full, and everyone seems too preoccupied with themselves to take any notice of us. Of us and the fact that James’s intense stare is taking my breath away.

His voice lightens again. “You…”

Suddenly, the fairy lights go out. All at once. A few musicians play wrong notes, the sound echoing around the hall. The only light now is from the candles.

“James, I swear to you, if this is one of your tricks—” I hiss.

“It’s not,” he interrupts. I can barely make out his face, but he seems as surprised as me. Then he swears quietly. “We need to get to the power. They can’t play like this. And it’ll kill the mood.”

I nod, and James grips my hand tighter. We fight our way through the confused people on the dance floor, and I almost step on the hem of my dress. Once we get out into the corridor, I sigh with relief. James lets go of my hand as we take the stairs down to the cellar, and I grip onto the banister. I try not to think about why I instantly deeply miss the feeling of his warm skin. It’s pitch-black down here. James pulls out his phone and switches on the flashlight to light the corridor.

“So cold,” I murmur, rubbing my arms. “And spooky.” I feel like a clown or a monster or a mutant mix of the two could jump out at us around a corner any second.

James doesn’t reply, heads straight to a large box to the left-hand side.

“I ought to be worried by the fact that you know exactly where the fuse box is.”

He gives an embarrassed smile and opens the box with the master key on his key ring, then steps aside so that we can both see in. Two fuses have blown, and as James trips the switches back up again, we hear the distant relieved cheers from upstairs. The next second, the neon lights turn on down here too with a quiet click. I sigh with relief. James shuts the fuse box again, and I turn on my heel. I can’t get out of this cellar soon enough.

I gather up my skirts and climb the stairs. I’m almost at the top when James stops right behind me and says, “Wait.” I turn and look inquiringly at him.

“Did you really think I’d do a thing like that again?” He sounds genuinely surprised, like he can’t believe I’d suspect him.

But, to be honest…I did.

I don’t know what there is between James and me. And even though we’ve got closer in the last few weeks, that doesn’t mean I trust him. There’s too much history for that, and I can still hear his warning, and Lydia’s, clearly in my head. I promised Lin I’d be careful, and I’m sticking to that.

“For a millisecond, maybe,” I admit in a small voice.

He stares hard at me. “I’d never pull a trick like that again, Ruby. Not now that I know how much work you put into these events and how much they mean to you.”

It feels as though someone is pressing both their hands onto my rib cage, making it hard to breathe. “Sorry,” I say quietly. “I think I was just scared. That it might be a repeat of the start of term.”

James shakes his head. “No.”

He comes up another step, and now our eyes are level. His face is so close to mine that I can see little blue flecks in his eyes and a dark ring around his iris.

I can’t imagine what it’ll be like when I don’t see James in meetings every other day. Just the thought of it makes my throat constrict. Will he have any reason to spend time with me after that? He’ll be training and have more time for his friends than he has done lately. Will he realize how much he’s missed them? How much more fun he has spending his Saturday evenings drinkingand partying instead of texting me about UK politics or my new favorite manga?

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