Page 95 of Save Me

“You’re going to conquer the world, Ruby. And you need to be with someone who’ll support you along the way and whose family welcomes you with open arms. But I can’t offer you that. I can’t offer you anything but a heap of problems that I have no idea how to solve.”

Ruby looks at me in silence, and I don’t even dare breathe. I’m expecting her to get up and walk out of the room without a word. I’d deserve that, I know. But she makes no moves to leave. Instead, she leans forward and presses her lips onto mine.

I’m so stunned that I don’t kiss her back.

“Ah, James,” she murmurs. She frees her hand from mine and runs it over my chest until it’s lying on my heart. “You stupid, bloody idiot…”

OK, I wasn’t expecting that.

“Why are you wasting time worrying about the future when we have the present?” she asks quietly.

“Because you deserve better. My future is going to be shit. Yours doesn’t have to be.”

She squeezes my cheeks. “That’s not true,” she whispers fiercely. “You have just as many options as everyone else. You only have to take them, James.”

I love it when she says my name. Her voice wraps gently around the letters, and I wish I could shut my eyes and ask her to say it again.

“Why didn’t you just tell me all this?” she asks, shaking her head. “Instead of pushing me away with no explanation.”

I can see pain in her eyes, the pain my behavior must have caused her. I lay my hand on top of hers and link our fingers on my chest. “I’m so sorry, Ruby. I really thought we were better off without each other.”

“It didn’t feelbetter,” she whispers hoarsely. “You ghosted me, and then gave me the biggest brush-off in the history of the world.”

“I know. God, Ruby. I’m so sorry.”

I shut my eyes. I don’t know what I’ll do if she won’t forgive me. If she decides that the stress I’ve brought into her life is too much. If I can never be as close to her again as I am now.

I hold her hand tight, press it to my heart, which is pounding like crazy, and I don’t have the guts to look at her.

“James,” Ruby says. She starts to pull her hand away, and I want to cling on to it, but I know that I don’t have the right. If Ruby wants to leave, I have to let her. But then I feel her fingers in my hair. She runs her hand gently over my head, again and again.

I don’t know how long we lie there like this, but I’m scared to move, afraid of destroying the moment. Seeing Ruby this close isthe best feeling in the world. I’d give up everything for it. I don’t know why it took me this long to realize that.

“James,” Ruby murmurs again, after a long time. She kisses my temple. “It’s OK. I forgive you.”

I take a deep breath to mumble another apology but freeze as the meaning of her words gets through to me. I open my eyes. Ruby has leaned back slightly and is looking at me with steady eyes.

“What?” I ask, my voice rough.

“It’s OK. I forgive you,” she repeats slowly, stroking my ribs. “That doesn’t mean I’ll forget the way you behaved. If you ever do a thing like that again…” She shrugs vaguely. When I take in what she just said and see her cautious smile, the relief that I feel is almost overwhelming. I wrap my arms around her, pull her close to my body, and murmur breathlessly into her lips, “I won’t. I won’t, I promise.”

Then I kiss her.

I try to use the kiss to show her how grateful I am and to share all the whirling emotions inside me. Ruby rolls on top of me, and I hold her tight. She teases me with her tongue and strokes it over my still-throbbing lower lip. A growl sounds from deep in my chest and I suck on her tongue, so that now it’s she who gasps.

I have no idea how we got here, but in this second, I feel like I’m flying, not falling. Ruby forgives me. She forgives me, and she’ll stay in my life.

The next moment, she pulls her lips away from me and starts to unbutton my shirt.

“What are you doing?” I ask hoarsely.

“Undressing you.”

She carries on until the last button is undone and she has a fullview of my naked torso. She bites her lip and touches my stomach, hesitantly at first and then a bit more boldly. The look with which she’s devouring my body makes me glad of the many hours of extra training I’ve put in over the last month.

Ruby leans down and kisses a trail over my stomach, and I inhale sharply. Then I can suddenly feel her tongue against my waistband, and I lean up on my elbows. “What are you doing?”

She looks up at me through half-closed eyes. “Isn’t this what couples do when they make up?”

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